


Take Over

by themoonthatpullsthetide



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BDSM, Dom/sub, Domme!Mal, DragonQueen, F/F, Flogging, Hurt/Comfort, Impact Play, Kink Negotiation, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, RedBeauty, Rope Bondage, Slow Burn, Spanking, Sub!Regina, Trust Issues, Whipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29723934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonthatpullsthetide/pseuds/themoonthatpullsthetide
Summary: Real World AU. DragonQueenRegina is undergoing training to become a Domme at Mal’s club, but swiftly finds that her past trauma has made that a difficult feat. After being less than cooperative with the Doms she had been paired with, Mal offers to take on her training herself, recognizing herself in the younger brunette.This will be a SLOW burn.
Relationships: Belle/Red Riding Hood | Ruby, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Maleficent
Comments: 19
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! 
> 
> I want to start off by saying that this fic will be both canon and character divergent, so keep that in mind while reading. There will be smut in this fic during later chapters, but the focus is significantly more on the growth of a D/s dynamic between Mal and Regina, and the healing they find within it. 
> 
> Everyone’s experience with BDSM, their reasons for entering into a power exchange, and the way that dynamic manifests are as individualistic and varied as those who partake in it. This is just one kind of dynamic. 
> 
> As always, I encourage you to read the tags (I will add more as the fic comes more into fruition) and to skip reading this fic if any of the topics of discussion have the potential to be harmful or triggering to you. Take care of yourself. 
> 
> Flashbacks are in italics, text messages are in bold. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and feedback and plot suggestions are always welcome!
> 
> M.

It was training day at the club, and that was Mal’s favorite day. Her office was at the end of a hall lined with soundproof play rooms, and all of the new subs and Doms were training in the public dungeon, which occupies the entire floor above her office. She loved her office; it gave her a space to decompress after a particularly intense session. She was able to think and feel whatever she needed to in the comfort of her office, which is a luxury she cannot afford herself much elsewhere. Her office was lit with the strategically placed candelabra and candle fixtures lining the Cabernet-colored walls. Centered on a platform two steps up from the floor was her desk. It dominated the space and the dark oak masterpiece gave her a sense of power just by sitting behind it. Flanking her desk, was a single door with dark wood bookshelves on either side of it. The door was ornately embellished, and dark enough that, in combination with the dim lighting in the office, it wouldn’t be noticed unless you were looking for it. She liked it that way. Her playroom was not a space many people entered. Surely no one in the recent past.

She got up from her desk and smiled slyly knowing that the click of her heels against the hardwood floor would make the new subs (and some of the doms) uneasy to say the least. She left her office, locked it behind her, and started down the hall. The halls, like the rest of the club, were lit with candle fixtures equidistant from each other along the stormy grey colored walls. She came to an expansive room with black leather booths lining one side of the wall, a bar on the other. A few inches from the top row of bottles were sphere shaped lights that emitted a sapphire blue glow. It accentuated the dark wood counter top and gave the bar an aura contrasting the otherwise stormy dark room. Approaching the bar, a tall, lean brunette popped her head up and smiled. 

“Miss Mal! I’m just about done with the inventory. Do you want me to bring it to your office when it’s done?” She replied jovially. Ruby was clad in leather pants tight enough that they look to have been painted on, a black lace corset, and red fuck-me pumps that brought her already tall frame to an impressive height. 

“That’ll do, Ruby. Please do a lap upstairs to check in on things. Don’t let Killian or Graham get too overzealous with their subs.” She turned around to walk away, but threw over her shoulder before she was out of earshot “and make sure everyone has some semblance of clothing on. I am not running an orgey and don’t wish to have a repeat of last time.” Mal sounded annoyed, but Ruby giggled none-the-less. 

“Yes, Miss Mal.” This is why she liked Ruby. She knew Mal well enough that she could tell the difference between real frustration and annoyance at other people’s incompetence. Ruby trained under Mal when she first came to the club, and has now taken on an “assistant manager” type role. Mal trusts her instincts both with clients and staff, and is just as type-A as Mal when it comes to inventory and keeping the interactions in the club safe, sane, and consensual. 

Mal has a rule at her club. All Doms must train as subs first. BDSM can be emotionally and physically intense, and if you haven’t been on the receiving end, then you cannot accurately gauge the intensity of the play you are putting your sub through, and more importantly, when enough is enough. This particular rule, along with her meticulous training program, is why her Doms and subs are highly requested and respected. It’s good business; it’s safe business, and she prides herself on that. That’s not to say that there are never any problems. Two Doms in particular, Killian and Graham, tend to be heavy handed and less than in-tune to their newer subs which is why Mal has restricted them to demonstrations with house subs only instead of seeing clients one-on-one. They were vocal about their disdain for this reprimand, but quickly became compliant with the raise of a perfectly shaped eyebrow and a reminder that their other option was to go through training again until they learn that heavy –handedness with a whip and emotional ignorance were more than just nuisance traits. Todays’ training day is supposed to be a trial run for them; a test to see if they have practiced being more cognizant of their s-type. Though she has a sneaking suspicion that neither of them is eager to do that much soul-searching, in which case, they will not be at the club much longer. 

Mal returned to her office to do an end-of-the-month audit of the club’s expenses and a review of the roster for the coming month. With Ruby taking on more responsibilities around the club and her meticulous record keeping, the audit was quick work, as was the roster barring any necessary changes as a result of training day. Just as she was about to slip off her heels under her desk, she heard two people loudly arguing outside her door followed by a heavy knock that she knew to belong to Graham and his heavy hands. He entered without permission and was holding the arm of a very irate young brunette who looked to be his sub for the day. She was actively trying to pull out of his grip to no avail, and yelling at him with a tone that was enraged, though Mal knew that tone well enough to know she was also scared. The darkness behind her deep brown eyes confirmed this. 

Mal stood to her full height behind her desk and turned towards the pair. “Graham, you know better than to barge into my office without permission to do so.” Her voice was low, clipped, and left no room for argument. “What is the meaning of this?” She glared at the pair, hand on her hips but shifted her body slightly towards Graham, indicating that he was meant to answer. She was intimidating on a good day, but in her territory, raised on a platform, behind her desk, and clad in a skin-tight leather dress with black stiletto pumps, she was regal, and she was terrifying.

Graham shifted his weight and dropped his eyes ever so slightly in embarrassment. He knew his place, and he knew he had just stepped out of it. “I… Miss Mal, I’m sorry to interrupt, but this pet has been belligerent to every Dom she has had today. She has no respect! And when I tried to teach her a lesson, she started screaming and tried to hit me back!” The brunette suddenly stood very still and glared daggers at him. She pulled her shoulders back, and stood to her full height. Though she was only adorned in leather shorts, pumps, and a leather bra, the effect was immediate. She turned towards him sharply.

“You are not entitled to respect Mr. Graham; you are endowed with the respect that you earn, and my respect for you is rapidly waning. Please do try and keep that in mind the next time you think about putting those bear claws on me.” She quipped while yanking her arm from his grip. Mal held her breath to keep from chuckling. If she was going to be errant, at least she was intelligent while doing so. 

Graham went from gob smacked to irate in no time flat as he turned towards the brunette and raised a hand to her. She closed in on herself as if to brace for being hit. 

“Enough!” Mal growled. Graham dropped his hand immediately as his eyes followed her around her desk, down the stairs, and finally in front of the two. “Do not raise your hand to her. She has made it abundantly clear that she does not wish to be touched by you, and frankly I agree with her. You are excused. We will discuss this later.” Graham opened his mouth as if to protest, but Mal raised her eyebrow and stood her ground making it clear that an attempt to do anything other than what she just dictated to him would end poorly. He turned abruptly and left, slamming the door behind him. 

Mal turned towards the girl, softening her facial features, though still exuding the same dominate energy she does in every interaction. It is just intrinsic. As she took in the girl before her, she had to admit, she was very attractive. Her body was lean with tanned olive skin that shone from what was undoubtably a trying training day. Her near-black, wavy hair shoulder length and hanging loose. Her make-up done, but soft as to accentuate her natural beauty, but when Mal looked into her eyes, they were glassed over… as if she was lost in her own mind. Mal knew that look well; knew the pain that hid behind those chocolate orbs as it was the same pain she had seen in her own for so many years. 

Her body was still tense, back ram rod straight, hands folded in front of her with her thumb kneading into the palm of the other, and Mal knew that her next move needed to be cautious while also establishing her control within the dynamic as to bring her back into the present moment. She took a step towards the girl whom immediately stilled her body and tensed more. Mal moved slowly, but with purpose into the girl’s line of sight until she was face-to-face with her. Being in heels, she towered over the girl in front of her, and placed her hands in front of her body to show the girl that she was not a physical threat. 

“Regina, correct?” She asked in a soft, but commanding tone. When the girl continued to look straight through her, Mal slowly reached her hand up and brought the girls chin up with her finger so their eyes were level. The girl’s breathing started to become more rapid and she knew she was fighting whatever thoughts had plagued her mind. Mal lifted her eyebrow expectantly, and the girl nodded. “With words, please” she added in a slightly firmer tone. 

“Yes, my name is Regina.” She moved her head to the side in order to break the hold Mal had on her chin. She was softer spoken than the tone she took with Graham, but still had an edge to it. 

“Then, Regina, please sit.” Mal’s tone left no room for questioning as she motioned to the couch next to them. Regina moved to the couch, but did not sit down, nor did she look at Mal. She kept her head to the side, eyes staring at the wall. Mal knew she was fighting back tears. She moved over to the couch opposite of Regina and gave a single command; “sit”. Regina’s jaw clenched, but she sat down in one fluid motion; positioning herself at the very edge of the couch, legs crossed, eyes still angled towards the door, hands at her side, though one was kneading into her thigh with what looked to be immense pressure. 

“Regina, look at me.” She didn’t; she couldn’t. She wouldn’t let anyone see her cry. “Regina…” Mal said, and while her tone was soft, she made it clear this was not a request. Even still, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She looked towards the door desperately wanting to leave, but a part of her told her to stay put, that walking out that door would throw her head-first into a panic attack; one fed by today’s events, by those rough, monstrous hands gripping at her body, and by a swarm of confusing and frightening thoughts that only made her want to run more. As her mind ran rampant, her chest began to tighten, to feel heavy, and her stomach revolted, throwing a wave of nausea over her so fierce that she doubled over and gripped at her chest and stomach simultaneously. Unknowingly, she started to rock herself slightly as she gasped to try and take a breath. She squeezed her eyes shut willing the thoughts to go away.

Mal was quick to her feet and squatted down in front of the panicking brunette. She placed her hands firmly on the girl’s calves and looked up to the brunette. “Regina, you are safe, and I need you to open your eyes.” She was firm, but knew that anything less would be background noise to whatever symphony of thoughts was plaguing Regina’s mind. “Now, please.” She continued while she gave a tight squeeze to the girl’s calves. 

With great effort, Regina pulled her head up and looked at the blond in front of her. Her eyes were soft, concerned, and in control. She immediately felt a sense of calm looking at Mal. She seemed so sure of her ability to control that situation, and Regina was so sure of her inability to do so in this moment. “Good girl.” Mal praised as she ran her hands up and down Regina’s calves in a calming manner. Regina’s chest released at the praise and the soothing motion. “Now, I need you to take some deep breaths for me. In for two seconds, out for two. Like this.” she directed as she herself demonstrated the breathing technique. Regina tried with shaky breath, though started to hyperventilate almost immediately. Mal took Regina’s hand and placed it on her own chest under her own hand. “In… and out…” she directed. After a few more attempts, Regina was able to match her breathing and the grip around her chest dissipated. 

Mal moved to stand up and Regina’s eyes immediately went wide with panic. “I will be right back, Regina. I promise.” Regina did not look placated to say the least, but Mal stood up in spite of that fact and walked to the side table next to the couch. She poured a glass of water from the glass decanter and walked back over to Regina, this time sitting on the couch next to her, though keeping distance for the comfort of the overwhelmed brunette. She handed the cup to Regina and directed to take small sips of the water. After taking a few sips of water, the brunette had noticeably calmed down, so Mal reached for the cup and set it on the coffee table in front of them. She turned her body towards Regina. “Regina, look at me please.” It was not a suggestion. 

Regina positioned herself towards Mal, though continued to knead her thighs with her thumbs. Mal took notice and paid attention to the pressure she was using, but left it alone for now. 

“I’m going ask you some questions and I expect honest answers from you.” she started, her voice soft, but firm. “I know some of them might be difficult. If you need a second to breathe before you answer, you may take it, and if you do not want to answer something, we may talk about it, but I do not tolerate lying. Do you understand, Regina?” She looked expectantly to the brunette. 

She nodded, but Mal quickly prompted, “with words please”. 

“Yes, I understand.” She tried to keep the anxiety out of her voice, though she knew she was devastatingly unsuccessful. 

“Good girl.” she praised. Regina noticeably relaxed at that, and Mal noted it for later. “Now, Graham mentioned that he was not the first Dom you have become combative with, is this true?” She kept the same tone of voice seeing as the girl responds to it. 

“Yes.” Regina answered. Mal waited for her to elaborate, and when she didn’t, Mal prompted her. 

“Why is that, Regina?” Regina’s body tensed up and she immediately dug her thumbs into her thighs and started to rub significantly harder than she previously had. Mal took her hands and held them in her own to prevent the brunette from hurting herself, but Regina immediately started to pull away and looked at Mal wide-eyed. Mal held her grip and started to rub soothing circles on her knuckles to calm her down. “I will not let you hurt yourself, little one, nor will I let anyone else hurt you. You are safe here.” Regina searched Mal’s eyes and found nothing but calm; no malice, no annoyance, but something akin to understanding. Regina took a few breaths and squeezed Mal’s hands in an attempt to calm herself down. Mal never let up her soothing gestures and squeezed Regina’s hands back. 

With one last deep breath she whispered, “they are men.” She diverted her eyes and her voice was filled with so much defeat and heartbreak. There was a painful story in the words left unsaid. She was so afraid Mal would scoff at her and tell her how ridiculous that assertion was; that her fear of men was unfounded. That her combativeness was unacceptable because of their position at the club, and that she would have to get over herself eventually. She had shared her fear, once, with her mother when she was a young girl. That had only gotten her beaten while being berated about a “woman’s duty”. She had been left bleeding in the basement for the remainder of the day. Her mother had made it clear that Regina’s body was owned by her, and that she would use it as she saw fit. Later that night, she and her ‘friend’ made sure she knew just how much her body was not hers. It was not the first time nor the last. 

Regina was pulled from her reverie by Mal’s voice. “Regina, look at me.” Regina shook her head. She couldn’t look at the disgust that she was sure would be found in Mal’s cerulean eyes. “Now, please.” She said more firmly. Reluctantly, Regina looked towards Mal, tears in her eyes, and all she saw was a sad understanding. Mal squeezed her hands and Regina took a deep, shaky breath. 

“Does being touched scare you, or is it men that scare you?” Mal asked. Her voice was calm, but steady. She wanted nothing more than to embrace the girl beside her, but knew that that action may not be well received. Mal knew that Regina had been hurt, and given her conditioned responses, more than once, but she knew better than most, that if she wanted to build any trust with Regina, that this is a story she would have to tell her in her own time, in her own way, so she waited. 

Regina tried to pull away from Mal and bolt for the door. She was too overwhelmed; she didn’t know how to explain her complex relationship with touch. The second part was easy; men scared her. There isn’t a single ounce of her that wants to be in close proximity to a man ever again. But touch was different. She flinched, lashed out, or both whenever someone tried to touch her most of the time. Over the years, she has gotten less hyper vigilant when it comes to innocent touches from women given that she sees it coming, and that there is no malice in the action, but her definition of innocent changes day-to-day. Some days, being touched makes her want to claw the skin off of her body, an urge so vicious that she has tried to do just that once or twice. Other days, she craves physical affection, but is too scared of the memories it might bring up, and more importantly, doesn’t trust anyone enough to ask. The constant fear of the thing she craves is devastating. 

Mal held her hands despite her effort, and when she tried to pull harder, Mal looked her dead in the eye. “Little one, you are not dismissed. I understand you are overwhelmed, and if you need me to let go of your hands for you to feel safe, I will do so, but you may not leave the room, and the question still stands.” Fear was still prominent in those chocolate orbs, but she made no move to remove her hands from Mal’s or move from the couch again. Mal gave her a few minutes then asked: “Do you want me to let go of your hands, or do you want me to keep holding them? If I let go, you may not harm yourself or I will hold them again.” Knowing the brunette’s penchant for nonverbal answers, the blonde quickly added, “with words please”, and waited expectantly. 

After a few more minutes had passed, barely above a whisper, Regina replied “please don’t let go.” Tears left glistening streams down her face and she hung her head in a mixture of shame and gratitude that the blonde started rubbing circles around her knuckles again. “It’s both. Men and touch… it’s complicated.” She said trying to conceal her upset. She was unsuccessful, they both knew it, but Mal didn’t point it out, and she was grateful. 

“Does it scare you when I touch you?” Mal asked without judgment. She needed to know if holding the brunette would make the situation worse or better and where her lines were drawn before she proceeded with what would be an undoubtably hard conversation. 

The brunette shook her head, and then remembered that she needed to give her responses verbally. “No, not now, but it might later.” 

“Can you explain that to me please?” Mal asked. 

“Sometimes I’m okay being touched within the rules I set, sometimes I can’t be touched at all. It depends. That’s part of the reason I like BDSM. I set the rules to how, when, and if I am touched, and if they are not followed to a T, the interaction is immediately vacated.” She was getting slightly defensive, not wanting to have to explain her rules and why they are there. She doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone, but for some reason, she felt a pull to give one to the blonde. A part of her hated it with everything she has, but another part, the part of her that so desperately wants to be understood and cared for, wanted Mal to understand. She kept the latter part of her tightly under lock and key, and she was desperately conflicted about how quick the blonde is pulling this side of her out. 

“Did the other Doms you were paired with touch you without consent? Outside of when Graham grabbed you in my office?” She had to ask. It was her job, though she knew that the true answer to that question was far more complicated than either of them cared to admit. 

“Not like that, no.” Mal looked at her with a raised eyebrow prompting her to continue. “I can’t do that with them… that’s the way it is with most people, but especially men. I know how it works around here; that you have to train as a submissive first, and I thought that I would be okay with that because I could still set all of my rules and no one would touch me, and it would be okay, but that isn’t what happened. I told Graham what my rules were and he got irritated. He started snapping at me, and making comments about how difficult I was being. I put the suspension cuffs on myself thinking that he was just going to clip me in and then the rest of the session would just be impact play, but when he went to grab my wrists, he grabbed them hard and started to pull me towards the St. Andrew’s cross. I freaked out, I didn’t want him near me, so I fought and snapped at him. I safeworded and he brought me here. Then when I came in here he grabbed me and I just… couldn’t handle it anymore.” Regina had tears streaming down her face. 

Mal squeezed her hands. “Regina, I need you to listen to me now because it is important. You get to set whatever boundaries you need to with whomever you come into contact with, especially here. Graham and I will be having a conversation later about his actions. I’m sorry he reacted the way he did, and I’m sorry that you felt unsafe here. You are right, in this club, you do have to train as a submissive, and part of that training is being able to let go of your control and entrusting it to someone else, but that cannot and should not happen unless you are comfortable with both the person and the scene otherwise it is just traumatic, and you have had far too many traumatic experiences in your life as is.” Regina looked up at her wide-eyed at her last sentence. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but Mal held up a hand. “So, Regina, I have a very important question for you, and I want you to think really hard about it before you answer.” She paused and when Regina nodded, she continued. “Do you think you will ever feel comfortable enough, trust someone enough, to give them that kind of control?” Again, she opened her mouth to answer, but Mal raised her eyebrow, and she shut her mouth to truly think on it. 

If Regina was ever going to be able to give that kind of control to someone, to give her submission to someone, she would have to trust them implicitly. She had never had that before, someone she trusted. Every time she had given someone a little bit of trust, it had been violated in the most intimate of ways. She knew that if she decided to enter into a dynamic like this that she would need to share what she has been through, at least the basic details of it, so that they knew where her fears were coming from and could help when she inevitably panicked. They would have to be patient with her as she fought to try and work through years of abuse. That prospect scared her more than anything. She had spent so long desperately trying to burry the things that have happened to her; she didn’t know how she would react to them being dredged up in full force again. That thought scared her. She’s been plagued with nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks most of her life, and the thought of making them worse… 

When she really thought about it, that deep, intimate part of her longed to be able to trust someone like that. To be able to truly talk with someone without hiding parts of herself, without being judged for what she was thinking or what she has been through. If she was honest, she knew that she craved having someone take over for her when her thoughts became so overwhelming that she can’t focus on something as simple as her next breath. She wanted to know that she belonged to someone. That she was truly and wholeheartedly loved and cared for. She also knew herself well enough to know that it might not ever happen for her, and if it did, it would be slowly. 

She looked at Mal and took a deep breath before she spoke. She knew that if she didn’t get this all out now, she never would. “I could, but I know that I would only feel safe enough to do it with a woman. They would have to be really patient with me… I don’t think it would work if they didn’t know about certain things that are really hard for me to talk about. I’m not good with talking about my emotions and sometimes need to be pushed to do so, but sometimes I need to be left alone to think about things before I talk about them. Limits would have to be an ongoing conversation because at first there would be a lot of them for me. And I couldn’t do it in public. I can Domme in public – I have in other clubs, but this is different for me. More vulnerable and intimate and I wouldn’t be okay sharing that.” She took a shuddering breath and could feel herself shaking. Mal was still holding onto her now trembling hands and had a slight smile on her face. Her eyes gleamed with something that Regina had never seen before… pride. It was brief and slight, but it was there. 

“I’m very proud of you for saying that, Regina. I know that wasn’t an easy thing for you to do. Thank you for sharing that with me.” Regina blushed at the praise coming from the older woman, and diverted her eyes to the floor. The more Mal interacts with Regina, the more her younger side comes out. She wouldn’t go so far as to call her a little, but Regina definitely responds better to a soft but firm hand; the prompting and softly spoken rules, the constant ‘motherly-like’ affections, and her response to praise all give Mal an indication as to how Regina would need to be guided, and Regina was right… caregiving is an incredibly intimate form of play. It’s one of the reasons she has avoided it in the past, but there is a pull to offer that part of herself to Regina. She knows that in order for her to open up and feel safe, she would need someone who understands what it is like to be intimately violated, and who is willing to work at her pace. Mal knows she can be that for Regina… she needs to be that for Regina. 

“Regina, I need to ask you something, and I want you to remember my rule about honesty, okay, dear?” Mal asked cautiously. When Regina nodded, she continued. “How would you feel about training under me? We would need to have a much longer conversation about limits, among other things, but I want to know if you believe I would be someone you could be comfortable with.” 

“Yes.” Regina said soft but firm. Mal was shocked at both the absoluteness of the answer and the speed at which it was said. She thought Regina would be more hesitant about engaging in a dynamic with her, but was pleasantly surprised. 

“I’m very glad to hear it.” Mal said almost wistfully. “It has been a very trying day for you, my dear, so I want you to go home and get some rest. Please eat something protein-rich before you go to sleep. Your body went through a lot today, and the extra protein will help you process today’s events.” Mal stood up and went to her desk. She quickly wrote something down on a post-it note and walked back over to Regina. “Here is my cell phone number. I want you to call me when you are ready to move forward with this arrangement. Take all the time you need, we are in no rush.” She handed the post-it to Regina with a soft smile and squeezed her hands again. 

Regina got up to leave as Mal walked back to her desk. Regina turned to look over her shoulder. “Mal?” she asked.

“Yes, dear?” 

“Thank you.” She said softly, and then she left, post-it note in hand. 


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely more of a transition chapter, but considering how heavy the next one is, felt it necessary. 
> 
> Flashbacks are in italics, texts are in bold!
> 
> M.

As Regina was driving home, all she could think about was that slip of paper with a phone number… she was scared if she was being honest with herself. She didn’t think Mal would hurt her, but so many people had; people she should have been able to trust, people that should have cared for her. This was the first time that she allowed herself to have hope that she could be cared for without any ulterior motive or unrealistic conditions. That hope scared her more than anything because she remembers what it felt like to have that last shred of it torn from you. 

_It was getting late and Zelena and I are playing upstairs in Mama’s room. It’s the biggest, so we can play together. We were laughing real loud, and Mama had one of her boyfriends over. She called it her ‘gold-digging’ period because she let them buy her nice things and then broke up with them after three months. She said that after three months you have to have sex with them, and sometimes she just wanted nice things. She screamed for us to come downstairs. Our full names – we knew we were in really big trouble then. My tummy dropped like on a bad roller coaster and my chest started hurting. I didn’t know what we did wrong. We were just playing. We went downstairs and her and her boyfriend were sitting on the couch. She was drinking. So was he. She was always drinking. You could always smell Zinfandel on her breath. We stood at the end of the staircase, close enough for her to see us, but far enough to run away if we needed to. “Go get your wooden spoons!” she commanded. Her voice was angry. She could get so angry. We both started crying. “No, please Mama!” I said in between sobs. I instinctively brought my hands behind my back to cover my butt. I was scared of the pain, but mostly I was scared for my sister. Mama always hit her worse, and she always made me watch. She knew it hurt me more to see my sister in pain than it would to be hurt myself. I stopped crying when she beat me a long time ago. “Now!” she growled. “No!” we both begged. “One…Two…” when she started counting, we knew we had no choice. Never let her get to five. We walked, sobbing, into the kitchen where we both picked out the wooden spoons that were “ours” for punishment and walked back to the living room. Her boyfriend was still beside her. I walked over first and she held out her hand for the spoon. I gave it to her, and then she smiled, with nothing but malice behind her eyes. She turned to her boyfriend and said “look at what I can make them do.” He smiled back. We both ran back upstairs and her boyfriend left a little while later. I sat on the floor of her bedroom with my sister and Mama came upstairs, stumbling as she went. She walked into the room and started screaming at me; she was so much bigger than me. I died that night. I felt any fight I had left leave my body. I had nothing left to give._

She pulled up to her house and sat in the driver’s seat for a long while. She didn’t know how long exactly. She couldn’t move, couldn’t feel her body. It was like she was floating. Her mind was gone.

Slowly she came back to herself. She could feel her back in pain from hunching over in the car too long, her stomach dropped in a panic and her chest tightened. She couldn’t breathe. She clutched her chest, and knew she had to get inside before the attack came full-force. She quickly got out of her car, grabbing her purse in haste, and bolted to the front door. She made quick work of the lock, and slid down the wall grabbing her chest, willing it to open back up. She doubled forward, head in between her legs, and she kneaded her fists into her sides to focus on something other than the pain her mind was inflicting on her. She didn’t want to go back there… she couldn’t. She rocked herself back and forth, squeezing her eyes shut, and gasping for breath. Finally, she took a deep breath and a heart-wrenching sob broke free from her chest. She cried for what felt like an endless amount of time.

She woke up still on the floor, fully clothed. Her back was killing her from laying on the marble, but there wasn’t anything she could do about that now. She slowly picked herself up and walked up the stairs to the master bedroom. She quickly divested herself of her clothing and turned the shower on full-blast. Her bathroom was one of the first rooms she decorated. The black marble floors, claw-foot bathtub, and the walk-in shower with multiple shower heads was her safe haven more often than not. Her muscles ached from the club and the endless amounts of tears she had shed over the past twenty-four hours. She just needed to wash it all away. The tension, the pain, the façade. Her day slowly came back to her and she replayed her and Mal’s interaction on a loop, relentlessly trying to figure out why she had let the woman in so much. Regina was an incredibly private person, almost to a fault, and she had shared more with that woman in the few hours she knew her than she had most anyone in her life. More than that, though, she let her touch her without explicit permission or instructions – Mal took the initiative, and it felt good, safe even. She is so used to pushing people off of her or flinching at any physical contact and following it up with a flippant comment or a flat-out insult… she didn’t know what to do with Mal’s breed of physical affection; with the kindness she displayed. 

She remembered the soothing words the woman had said. The soft but firm instructions that helped pull her from her own trauma-induced thought spirals, and the way she held her hands and rubbed her calves to calm her down – almost as if she instinctively knew that Regina would not have welcomed any touch elsewhere as it would have been too unsafe. No matter how Regina acted in front of her or what she said, there was nothing but understanding in her eyes. No judgment or irritation or want for anything more than what she was willing to give in that moment. Mal had told her they would take this at her own pace, and she hoped that would be true.

Regina got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a fluffy black robe, towel drying her hair on her way back to the bedroom. She sat on her four-poster bed adorned in merlot-colored sheets and stared at the slip of paper with Mal’s phone number on it. Was she really ready to start trusting someone else like this? The more she thought about it, the more she realized she already had. 

**Hello, Mal. I would like to proceed with our arrangement if the offer is still available. R**

She had never been so nervous to send a text before. She knew that the blonde just wanted to talk before they actually jumped into anything, but what if she wanted Regina to tell her everything? What if she found out how messed up her past really is and ran for the hill, not that she’d blame her, but she’d be devastated. Worst of all, what if she didn’t want to do this anymore? What if she went home and really thought about it and decided that Regina wasn’t worth the trouble? She could feel the familiar drop of her stomach and rapid heartbeat. She was pacing back and forth in her bedroom waiting for a response. ‘She’s a busy woman, Regina, she doesn’t have time to drop everything for a text.’ 

She grabbed her black silk robe and wrapped it around herself before heading down the stairs to the kitchen, phone in hand. Her kitchen was one of her favorite rooms in her house. The white marble floors, the large wooden-top counter in the center of the room, cream-colored cabinets, and bay sink all gave her a sense of comfort. She made quick work of a latte (her espresso machine being one of her most prized possessions ever the caffeine addict she is), and sat down to try and manage to plan out the rest of her week. She was due back at the club tonight to continue training, but after last night’s events, she didn’t know if she would be able to handle being in a submissive position, much less to Graham. 

Regina was not a submissive woman. She was a highly respected Dom in the community, and decided to try and turn that into a profession, and being attached to a club was the best way to do that. She loved the feeling of control it gave her, and treated her play partner’s submission with respect; she recognized it for the gift it is, and knew how much trust they were placing in her. She loved Shibari; the feeling of rope through her fingers, the light brushes against a submissive’s skin… she loved a particularly physically responsive submissive. The intricacies of rope bondage were tailor-made for her attentiveness and tenacity. She was incredibly in-tune to her submissives and prided herself on that fact. Bondage was her art. When she Dommed, she was a touch-me-not. She didn’t let her submissives touch her both because she genuinely derived pleasure from that of her submissives, but also because she was desperately afraid of what it might bring up for her, and if Regina Mills was one thing, especially during a scene, it was in control. 

That is why her want to submit to Mal confused her. The thought wasn’t accompanied by the usual visceral aversion… she was hesitant, sure, anxious even, but the interaction she had with Mal at the club was calming, and dare she admit, made her feel safe. Mal was soft with her – she was never brash or impulsive, or anything less than understanding. She was firm in her expectations, but reaffirmed that they would take each interaction at Regina’s pace. The clear expectations and follow through made her feel more secure, and gave her the room to collect her thoughts and share them in a space that only she and Mal occupied. Then there was the nickname… Mal had called her ‘little one’. She had been in the community long enough to know the implications, and she had mixed feelings. She never considered herself a Little. Sure, she felt maybe a bit younger than her usual 29 year-old self with Mal, but that was because she felt safe and could let go a bit, but that nickname and the praise the older woman gave to her made her blush, even now, just thinking about it. ‘Oh, this is so confusing’ she thought. 

She hadn’t known how lost in her own reverie she was until she looked at her cell phone and realized she missed a text from Mal. With a deep breath she took her phone and thought ‘no matter what she says, you spoke your truth’. That calmed her slightly. It was something she said to herself whenever she got anxious. As long as she could honestly say that she spoke or acted her truth, she would be okay. She unlocked her phone and read the message. 

**It’s very good to hear from you dear. If you are comfortable with it, I would like you to meet me at my home at 7 o’clock tonight. I believe you would be more comfortable there than at the club, though that is also an option. M.**

Regina reread the text a second time… then a third. She panicked slightly about the idea of going to Mal’s house. What did it mean? She was right, though, the thought of going back to the club made her nauseous, not that she would ever let anyone else know that. Her phone buzzed again. 

**Also, don’t worry about your training at the club, dear. You will be completing it with me from this point forward. M.**

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. A weight was off her shoulders knowing she wouldn’t have to play submissive to those oafish, ignorant, self righteous imbeciles again. ‘Just speak your truth’ she told herself. With another breath, she answered. 

**7 o’clock works for me, thank you. Do I need to bring anything? R.**

**No, little one, I have everything we will need. Wear something comfortable. We will spend most of tonight just talking. Anything else that happens is up to you. The address to my home is below. I look forward to seeing you tonight. M.**


	3. Chapter III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was longer than I anticipated, and I’m not entirely happy with it. However, I have been staring at it far too long, so I would love any feedback you have! 
> 
> TW: for graphic description of abuse.
> 
> M.

She pulled up to Mal’s brownstone at 6:55pm. She always liked to show up a little early to ease her anxiety and put her façade firmly in place before she faced people. Mal’s brownstone was gorgeous and secluded. Her walkway up to the house was lined with lilac bushes and the columns next to the stairs were wrapped in honey suckle. There was a swing and coffee table on the wooden porch next to the heavy oak door. The curtains to the living room and dining room were drawn covering large bay windows. The house was cozy, and as she took in her surroundings, the tightness in her chest slowly started to dissipate. She pulled her shoulders back, checked her hair and makeup one more time in the rear view mirror, and got out of the car. She was clad in dark skinny jeans, healed ankle boots, and cream-colored cable-knit sweater that fit her like a glove. She opted for light, natural makeup and left her dark hair down in it’s naturally curly state. She knocked on the door and silently thanked whatever gods that she had long since schooled her nervous habits because they would surely give her away in this situation. 

Mal opened the door a minute later in her own dark-wash skinny jeans and black long-sleeved tee. Her blond hair was pulled back in a low bun and her makeup was done, complete with a mauve colored lip. She was gorgeous and god help Regina keep her composure and control when this woman starts talking. 

“Good evening, dear. You look lovely. Please, come in.” Mal said in a soft tone as she stepped aside to allow Regina entry. 

On the right, two steps down was a lounge area with a couch on one side backed up against the windows, and a fireplace on the other. The room was covered in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lined with books that varied from what looked like old first-editions to modern fiction. To the left was a dining area that looked to double as a workspace as the table had both remnants of paperwork, her laptop, and a half-full French press. Directly in front of her was a stair case that she assumed led to her bedroom. 

“Thank you for having me. You have a lovely home.” Regina said while forcing herself to look Mal square in the eyes. She kept her tone formal, and that fact did not allude Mal. 

“You do not have to hide from me, little one. You are safe here, and with me. Tonight, I want to get to know you for you if you will let me.” Mal smiled at the momentarily shocked look on Regina’s face. Mal’s remained calm through the interaction. She knew she had read Regina right, and they both knew that they would get nowhere if Regina didn’t relax. “Come, dear, I’ll make us some tea.” Regina unzipped her boots and placed them by the door before following Mal past the dining room and into the kitchen. There was a dark-wash wood counter with wooden stools on one side. Regina took a seat at one of them while Mal set to work making tea on the other. 

“What kind of tea do you like, dear? I have quite the collection.” Mal smiled and turned towards Regina expectantly. 

“Do you have Lapsang Souchong?” Mal’s smile grew at this. 

“I do! A true tea enthusiast then?” She exclaimed, seemingly genuinely happy that someone else appreciated good tea. Regina just smiled back and Mal went to work on the cups of tea. 

When Mal was finished, she handed Regina her tea and leaned on the counter next to her. “The conversations we are going to have tonight are probably going to be among the most uncomfortable we will have, but before we begin, would you feel more comfortable talking here or would you prefer to sit on the couch? The choice is yours.” Mal took a sip of her tea and waited while Regina mulled it over. She seemed to tense slightly, but ultimately looked back to Mal. 

“Can we move this to the couch please?” Regina’s voice was softer than before, her eyes were focused on her tea as if she was unsure how her answer would be received. Mal made a note of this for later. 

“Of course! This way.” She started walking in the direction of the lounge area and sat on the far side of the couch. Regina looked at Mal and she gave a slight nod. At that, Regina sat on the opposite end of the couch, closest to the door. 

“Breathe, Regina.” She said soft but firm. “I told you we would take this at your own pace, and I meant that.” At that Regina relaxed a bit and took another sip of her tea. “Tonight I want to have two conversations. Which we start with is up to you. Boundaries being one of them. I know this is going to be an ongoing conversation for us, but I would like to know where your boundaries are, with me, at this moment in time as a submissive. While we were talking during our last meeting, you told me you would not be able to submit to someone who did not know certain aspects of your past. Knowing some of what you’ve been through and what your triggers are will help me gauge your comfort level during a scene and when and how to push. That is the second conversation.” Mal watched as Regina’s body went from slightly tense to ram-rod straight as she was talking, but sat back and gave the younger woman time to process what she had just said. She knew this was going to be a hard night, and had already planned accordingly. 

After watching ten minutes of Regina painstakingly battle her own head without saying a word, Mal decided to step in, knowing now that she would have to lead this conversation. 

“Regina, eyes on me.” Regina slowly looked up, and Mal could see the fear behind her eyes. “How about we start with boundaries. That seems the safer of the two conversations and will help us ease into talking about deeper topics.” Regina loosened a little and gave a slight nod. 

“Before we begin, I want to remind you of my rule about communication. We discussed it last time, but you were very overwhelmed and I want to reiterate it. When I ask a question, I expect an honest answer. If you need a second to breathe or process, you may take it. If you do not wish to answer something, tell me so and we will talk about it, but the question still stands unless I retract it. I will offer you the same curtesy to any questions you ask of me. I also expect verbal responses. I will prompt you if need be, but given the nature of this dynamic and these conversations, I need verbal confirmations.” Mal was very matter-of-fact in what she said, and it was clear that this was non negotiable, and Regina was okay with that… relieved even. 

“Please be patient with me. I have never done this… open-up I mean, to anyone. I usually run or shut down or start snapping at people around me. I am not good about talking about my emotions, and to be quite frank, I may not know where some of my boundaries are as a submissive. When I Domme, I do not let my submissive touch me, ever. When I have subbed at the club, the rule has been much the same; however, that absoluteness is not a boundary I feel the need to have with you which means that I do not know how I will react to being touched.” The entire time Regina was talking, she was looking down at her tea, unable to meet Mal’s eyes; afraid of what she might see. 

“Regina, eyes please.” When Regina didn’t immediately look up, Mal set her cup on the coffee table and slowly walked towards Regina. She took a seat much closer to the brunette and used her finger to lift the younger woman’s chin until their eyes were level. There were tears in Regina’s eyes and a darkness behind them that told her this conversation was already bringing past trauma to the surface. She took Regina’s tea cup from her and took both of her hands, rubbing soothing circles on her knuckles as she had during their previous conversation, remembering it had calmed the younger woman down. “I know you are scared of what being touched might bring up. I have seen you flinch or quip or insult anyone who has tried, and I recognize the amount of trust you are placing in me by letting me hold your hands. I know this will be trial and error, and all I ask is that you be honest with me about what you are and are not willing to try right now, and that you tell me when something becomes too much for you. I am not a mind-reader, so as long as you talk to me, everything will be okay. You are safe with me, little one.”

Regina just nodded and started to take deep breaths. “Okay,” she breathed out. Mal waited for her to continue. “It would help if you asked the questions. I need prompting right now.” Mal smiled at this admission, and her eyes relayed her pride. However, noting how Regina had reacted to praise earlier, she made sure to add it verbally. 

“I am proud of you for asking for what you need, and I am more than happy to take the lead.” Mal took a deep breath to collect her thoughts. She didn’t want to jump into something too extreme and risk upsetting Regina, but Regina was also a Domme and probably wouldn’t be shocked by the actual question as much as the thought of being on the other side of the coin during the predicament. “How do you feel about being naked in front of me?” Most subs are naked during a scene, but having a feeling about some of Regina’s trauma history made her want to ask. 

“I want to keep my panties on for now. Having my bra off is okay. I prefer feeling a flogger on my bare back.” Her voice was calm, so Mal knew she had started off in safer territory. 

“You said you like being flogged. Do you like any other impact play?” 

“Yes, I find it calming and it helps me get out of my head. I like flogging to warm up. I like caning and being whipped with a single tail, but hate being bull whipped.” 

“You jumped from a single tail to a bull whip?” Mal said with slight shock and disgust. That was a huge leap in pain intensity and there are plenty of choices in between. 

“Graham went from single tail to bull whip and he is really heavy-handed. It was not pleasant, but I bit it back. I didn’t want him to see how much it hurt.” Mal had to swallow back her anger at that knowledge. She took a deep breath, knowing that Regina would take the anger as being directed towards her. When she was calmer she continued. 

“Nipple clamps?” Mal asked. 

“Those are fine.” She replied. 

“Wax play?” To that Regina just smirked as her cheeks took on a faint pink tint. Mal smiled and mused, “I’ll take that as a firm yes then.” 

“Blindfolds or hoods?”

“No hoods; I don’t like having my breathing restricted at all. Blindfolds are a soft limit.” Regina replied after some thought. The idea of not being able to see what Mal was going to do scared her, but she thought that maybe farther down the road, she might trust Mal enough for it.

“Are you okay with being restrained?” Regina smiled slightly at that and Mal turned her head at the unexpected response. 

“I love rope. I am typically a rigger, and love the bite of hemp or jute rope the most. I haven’t been a rope bottom before, but self-tie at home a lot. Cuffs are fine. I like being on a St. Andrew’s cross when I am whipped, but please don’t restrain me supine to a bed.” Mal smiled at this. 

“I love rope too.” Regina looked up and Mal winked at her. “How do you feel about a spanking bench? Is being cuffed into one okay?” Regina looked thoughtful at this. 

“Yes, I think, but I would need to know where you are; either by the sounds of heels or having you talking to me.” 

“How do you feel about spanking? Both over my lap and in general.” Regina took a sharp breath and started to shake. 

“It’s complicated.” she whispered out between labored breaths. 

“All right, dear, take a deep breath, and start with what you are absolutely not okay with with regards to being spanked.” Mal said; she would take this one step at a time. 

“No wooden spoons.” Regina gasped while double breathing. She was struggling to suck in a breath, and pulled her hand away from Mal to grip her chest in a fruitless attempt to combat the memory from suffocating her. Without missing a beat, Mal took Regina’s other hand and held it to her chest. 

“Shh sweetie, you’re alright. You are with me. You are safe here. No one can hurt you. Try to match my breathing. In for two, out for two.” She continued to breathe deeply until Regina could copy her. She moved to four seconds, then six, and by then Regina was breathing normally, though tears were still streaming down her face. She gave the younger woman a few more minutes before she spoke again. 

“Can you tell me where you went just then?” Mal asked, still keeping Regina’s hand on her chest. The tears came down harder, but Regina looked at Mal and nodded. 

“She used to beat us with one. My mom. Both of us usually, but she would make me watch while she beat Zelena first. She knew how much it hurt me to see Zelena being hit. She would just smile when I screamed for her to stop.” Mal went very, very still and had tears in her own eyes. How dare someone do this to her Regina? ‘My Regina?’ she thought? ‘When did I start thinking of her as mine?’ She knew the last thing Regina wanted was pity, so she schooled her emotions and focused on the girl in front of her. 

“Thank you for telling me that, Regina.” Mal said sincerely. “Can you tell me which part you are okay with or maybe want to try?” Regina turned beet red and cast her eyes immediately down. ‘There we go’ Mal thought. She took the brunette’s chin in her hand and moved it upward. She rubbed the woman’s cheek with her thumb and said “there is nothing to be embarrassed about, little one. Not with me. Tell me.” It was a soft command and the effect on Regina was immediate. 

“When you call me that...” Regina started, but abruptly stopped herself.

“When I call you what?” Mal prompted. 

“Little one… I’m not a little, but sometimes… I don’t know. Never mind.” Regina turned her head away and wouldn’t meet Mal’s eyes. 

“Regina…” the warning in her voice did not go unnoticed and neither did the blush. Mal tried something different. “Is it that you want to be put over my knee?” Regina immediately went to pull her hand away from Mal and she knew she had guessed correctly. Regina went to try and stand up to get away from the uncomfortable feeling that thought created, but Mal saw it coming, and was swift to react. 

“Sit. You are not excused Regina. I know you are uncomfortable, and this is something we need to discuss. If you need a minute, you may take it, and if you want me to discuss what I’ve observed with you around this topic first, I am more than happy to do so, but we will discuss this, because I believe this is something you need, and from your reaction just now, I believe you would agree.” Regina just stared at her. 

“You start.” She said as she slowly sat down. She kept her hands hugged tightly around her knees that were now pulled to her chest. Mal softened at the clearly shaken brunette. 

“Let me start with this, Regina. There is no judgment in this space. Whatever you need or desire or think is safe here. You react well to having concise expectations, being praised when you meet them, and being pushed when you try and run or get scared. When you are submissive, it seems to me that you enjoy the softer side of things, but still need a firm, understanding hand to guide you. Considering you have told me that pain calms you down, it would not be such a leap, then, to assume that when things go array, or when you get too overwhelmed to listen to a command I give or follow a rule we set that you would find security in being spanked to help reaffirm our dynamic. I also understand that being over my knee is incredibly intimate. The contact is skin to skin, and I would be holding you which is probably both scary and something you need. My guess is no one has ever held you, have they?” Mal was soft when she spoke; having both confidence in her analysis and knowing how hard her words would hit the brunette. 

“No, they haven’t.” She sounded defeated and Mal knew that there was more behind those words than what they would get to tonight. 

“So, my dear, let me ask you again; do you want to be over my knee?” She looked expectantly towards Regina and waited for her to process everything that was just said. 

“Yes.” She said after taking a few minutes to think. She trusted what Mal said when she told her that she was safe in this space. It scared her that she did, but she didn’t think Mal would hurt her, and she desperately wanted to be close to someone… to know what it felt like to be held and comforted and secure. That started with owning and sharing her truth. 

Mal took in the woman across the couch and knew she had to be careful with her next words. “Regina, we need to talk about sexual boundaries too. I know this is going to be an incredibly difficult conversation for you, so I have a proposal. I am going to move away from you a bit, and I want you to find a position that is comfortable for you. That could be my holding your hands, holding your calves like last time, you could lay your head in my lap, or I could hold you. Whatever position would give you the most comfort during this conversation.” Mal slowly moved away and waited. 

She waited for almost twenty minutes before Regina moved. She turned her body so that her head was in Mal’s lap and her legs were pulled up to her chest. She was rigid, but when Mal started to run her hands through her auburn curls, Regina slowly started to relax. 

“Alright, sweetie. You told me that you do not let others touch you regardless of your side of the power exchange, and you said that you did not wish that to be the case with me. I know right now you wish to keep your panties on, and I want you to know that that will be respected. While we may not be doing anything sexual now or in the near future, I need to know what is absolutely not okay, what you might want to try, and what you want to do.” Mal continued to stroke Regina’s hair as she spoke, and the soft physical contact seemed to bring a calm to the younger woman. She could sense that Regina was gearing up to speak, so she held off on prompting her hoping that Regina would share her thoughts when she worked them out.

While Regina was laying in Mal’s lap, she tried to parse out how much to share with Mal. She knew that she needed to know at least some of what Regina has been through if they were ever going to do anything remotely sexual, but she has spent so long building walls specifically to keep people out of that part of her life and that part of her life away from herself. Mal told her to ask for what she needed, and what she needed was to feel secure. She knew that she was going to have a panic attack talking about this, and she needed to for both of their sake. She would have to trust that Mal wouldn’t leave. It would break her if she did. She took a few deep breaths, opting for being as honest as she could without giving too much detail, and began. 

“I know we need to talk about what happened to me. If I share this, I need you to stay; you can’t leave me after. I need to know what you are thinking after I am done sharing, and I need you to not let me leave. I’m afraid of what will happen if I am alone after this.” Tears started pooling at her water lines and Mal kept stroking her hair. 

“I will not leave you, little one. We will stay like this for as long as you need. I promise.” She could hear the sincerity in Mal’s voice, so she spoke.

“My mother had very clear expectations about how she wanted my sister and I to look like and act, and when it was clear that my sister wasn’t going to follow suit, she turned her attentions to me. Zelena had so much fire in her. She would fight mother tooth and nail for her freedom and was so unabashedly carefree. I loved her for it, and hated her for it. Even when we were kids, she would climb trees and had friends that she would play with, and I never got that. I was so anxious all of the time, around everyone, so I would just stay inside and read.” She took a breath, knowing that this would only get harder the more she pushed it off. 

“Mother’s second husband was awful. She didn’t care to marry for temperament, just social status. He was constantly yelling and threw a glass at my mother once. She was so young at the time, and had both Zelena and I. I don’t think she knew what to do, so she slept. All of the time. She drank all of the time. Zelena and I took care of ourselves, breakfast, quiet entertainment so as not to disturb her. I was maybe four when he started coming into my bedroom. I was never afraid of the dark before that. At first I didn’t think anything of it. He used to tuck us in sometimes, and I thought it was just that, but he came and sat on my bed and things just got worse. He told me to be ‘good for him’, saying that otherwise he would go next door and hurt Zelena. When he would touch me, I would hold my blanket so tight, but he would take it away if I made noise. It hurt so badly, and after a while, I would look at the ceiling where the glow-in-the-dark stars were and then I wouldn’t be able to feel my body. I would just leave it. I started sleeping on the couch after that. Mom beat me if she found me there, said it wasn’t proper, so I had to stay awake until she was dead asleep and then wake up right when the sun rose so I could go back to my bed. He left maybe a year later. After that, she had a string of wealthy boyfriends to keep her company.” Tears were forming salty rivers down her face and she was shaking. Mal was tearing up too, but she knew that if she interrupted Regina, that she wouldn’t start again. 

“She started beating us more after he left. I remember once Zelena refused to do something, I don’t remember what, and mother took her by the arm, held her up in the air, and beat her with a wooden spoon until she was screaming. I was screaming in the kitchen for her to stop, and I finally just sat down on the floor and started sobbing, telling her I was sorry. I didn’t talk for a week after that. Not to anyone. I couldn’t. Mother had made fun of me relentlessly and hit me when she asked a question that I wouldn’t answer. There was one night she came to my room after I had been in the bath. She took my towel off of me and started to grab at my body. I told her to stop, I cried for her to stop, but she told me that she owned me. She screamed at me about everything from what I ate to how much of a worthless daughter I was. She beat me for refusing her, for trying to cover myself from her scrutinization. First with her hands, then whatever she could reach. She was really drunk. I was maybe twelve, and that was the day I stopped eating. No one saw how much weight I lost or how dizzy I was. I passed out every time I got up or walked around too much. I was so afraid of everything. I jumped whenever anyone made a noise or dissociated when I was overwhelmed, which was always.”

“I went to the mirror in my room and looked at myself with so much hate. I didn’t understand why no one could love me; why no one cared. I went to my sister’s room and told her that I was sorry I couldn’t protect her. I kissed her on the forehead and went to the bathroom. I tried to kill myself for the first time that night. The next day I told mother I was sick, and she yelled at me about how weak I was, but ultimately I stayed home and cried about how much I wish I could have died.”

“Through middle school and high school I kept a steady diet of black coffee and the occasional string cheese which pleased her. I was thin and needed the caffeine. I hadn’t slept through the night in years at that point. Makeup covered the worst of it, so no one noticed. I had a boyfriend in high school, but it was a mess, and quite frankly, I loved him as a friend, but nothing more. I didn’t meet my girlfriend until college, she was ten years older than me, and called herself a Dom, but in all reality was just abusive. She never cared about my safety – just taking what she wanted. We had sex maybe a few months into knowing each other. I was still so young and I wasn’t ready. I felt coaxed into it, but I thought there was just something wrong with me, so I checked out, and when it was done, I didn’t feel anything. I was just numb. We were together for two years, and she kept wanting to engage in more extreme activities, and I was so resigned at that point.”

“A week before I ended our relationship, she had me tied down and held a vibrator to me for forty-five minutes, but I was so dissociated that she would have had better luck getting rise out of a cadaver. When she saw I wasn’t going to react, she took me with a glass dildo hard and all at once. I screamed. It was the only time I had ever been penetrated like that. I tried to get away from her when she unbound me, but she told me I owed her and… she wanted something I never wanted to do. I wouldn’t let her touch me, for anything after that. I wanted to physically claw the skin off of my body whenever anyone touched me, and I tried to more than once.” Regina was openly sobbing now. Her whole body was shaking and she was heaving for her breath. Mal had tears streaming down her face, and while all she wanted to do was comfort the terrified, heart-broken brunette in her arms, she had one last question before they stopped the conversation for a break. 

“What did she do, baby girl?” Regina turned farther away from her and stroked her neck. 

“She hung me. After I stood on the milk crate, I used my safe word, but the noose was already around my neck, and she started touching me. She told me nothing was going to happen right away, then she kicked the crate out from under me and lifted me in the air. All I remember is telling myself to fight, so I tried to kick her right before I blacked out. When I came to, I was so scared, and she was hugging me. I freaked out and ran from her. She was so mad.” 

Regina started clawing and gripping at her left hip with enough force to draw blood, so Mal shifted, grabbed her hand and held it in hers in front of Regina’s chest while she stroked her hair. She whispered that she was safe and with Mal until her breathing calmed down almost an hour and a half later. Both exhausted from an emotionally taxing conversation, Mal drifted to sleep while stroking Regina’s hair and holding her hand.


	4. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I’m sorry for such a long delay between chapters! I wanted to do this chapter justice, because it bridges the gap between the “conversational” stage of Mal and Regina’s relationship into the more intensive dynamic. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I would love any feedback you have! 
> 
> M.

Mal woke to the sun coming in from the bay windows behind the couch. The dusky purple curtains filtered the light some, but not enough to prevent her from waking from a fitful sleep. Last night’s conversation came back full circle as she woke more, and she looked down to an empty lap. Regina was gone. 

Mal looked around and found a note on the coffee table next to the two tea cups from last night. 

_Dear, Mal,_

_I woke up before the sun rose this morning and did not wish to wake you. I apologize for my emotional outburst last night._

_I will be at home today. I hope to hear from you, but understand if you no longer wish to continue this engagement._

_R._

After reading the note, Mal promptly went to grab her phone from the dining room table and texted Regina. 

Across town, Regina was sitting at the kitchen table staring out the window. She couldn’t sleep once she woke up in Mal’s arms; she didn’t dare. She knew what would come. She was shocked she didn’t have a nightmare or worse panic attack last night. Part of her knew it was because Mal made her feel safe, but she was scared of what that meant, especially if she never heard from Mal again… the more she thought about it, the more real that possibility. She was startled from her train of thought by her buzzing phone. She opened it and read Mal’s text.

**Good morning, dear. What is your address? I am coming over with breakfast. M.**

Regina stood shell shocked looking at her phone. She read it again to make sure she didn’t misread the text. Mal wasn’t asking. Was she upset that she left last night? She texted her address and set to making more coffee. Maybe the caffeine would hide the bags under her eyes. She sighed, anxious for the conversation to come. 

Mal was at her front door not twenty minutes later with egg white omelets and coffee. She took in the exhausted brunette and knew that sleep was a foreign concept last night. She couldn’t blame her. She was the same way once upon a time, and on the rare occasion, still was. She knew that look, and she also knew that if they were going to reaffirm their dynamic and build trust between them, that Mal had to address it and set some boundaries for them to work within, but she needed to talk to Regina about everything they had discussed last night first… they would play that by ear. 

Regina led them to the kitchen and made Mal a latte. She sat next to her and the pair ate in silence until Mal noticed that Regina barely touched her food. 

“Are you anxious about the conversation we are going to have, or is this something else?” Regina just shrugged. Mal waited. 

“Mostly anxious about the conversation. I get nauseous when I’m anxious.” She stated matter-of-factly. 

Mal took her fork and separated out one-third of the omelet and handed the fork back to Regina. “Eat all of what I have separated and then we will talk. You need the protein after last night,” Mal said not unkindly. Regina just nodded and started to take small bites of the portion Mal indicated. Once she was through with it, Mal took the rest and put it in the refrigerator for later. 

She took Regina’s hand and led them to the table so they could face each other when they talked.

“First off, I want to say thank you for sharing with me what you did last night. I know that that was incredibly difficult for you, and I want you to know I appreciate the trust you gave me. I am so proud of you, Regina.” 

Regina looked up at this. It was the last thing she was expecting to hear. 

“I want to finish our conversation from last night, but I have to say, I was very worried when I woke up this morning and you were gone. The conversation we had was incredibly emotional and reliving trauma is it’s own beast. I take aftercare very seriously, and your leaving means that you were on your own, and very much at risk of having a panic attack or worse. I can tell you haven’t slept since then, and that’s concerning to me. Once we finish our conversation, I would like it if you would let me properly take care of you.” She looked at Regina to make sure her words were sinking in. 

“You will find that I do not have very many boundaries, but there are a few that you should know, and I will expect you to follow them. The first is safety. This means telling me when you are uncomfortable or triggered or scared. This also means letting me take care of you, especially after a scene or emotional conversation like last night. The second is honesty. Open, honest, and continual communication is the most important part of any healthy relationship. I expect you to be honest with me about everything; your thoughts, emotions, your limits, and fears. I will give you the same in return. The third is respect, and this is mutual. I, like you, have a past that has left marks on who I am and how I react to certain actions or words. I will let you know what these are as they become relevant. This also means honoring the space that is created in this dynamic. What you share with me will stay with me, and I expect the same in return. There will be no judgment between the two of us. I want you to ask for what you need and know without a shadow of a doubt that it will be taken seriously.”

“Okay.” Mal saw the relief in Regina’s expression. She saw the calm that washed over her when she realized that Mal wasn’t going to run for the hills because she had been through hell. Mal was willing to fight along side her. Regina took a breath and forced her eyes to reach Mal’s as she spoke a truth hard for her to admit. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have sex. All of my experiences have either been non consensual or I have been dissociated for them, and we both deserve better than that.” There was a significant weight that lifted off of Regina as she told Mal that. She honestly just wasn’t ready, and she hoped that Mal would stick around long enough for her to get there. She downcast her eyes, feeling embarrassed and ashamed that she wasn’t able to give to Mal what is undoubtedly a significant part of any adult relationship. Mal hooked her finger under Regina’s chin until their eyes were level before she spoke. 

“I agree, you are not ready. Before anything else happens between us, little one, we need to get you used to my touch. What it feels like on different parts of your body, and what kind of touch you like and dislike. We won’t be moving on to anything else until you are comfortable with that.” Regina’s eyes glistened with tears she had no interest in fighting anymore. Mal was going to stay. 

“I told you that today was about aftercare, so I want you to go pick out a movie or a show that you like, and I will be in in a minute.” Mal said with a smile. Regina smiled back and went to the living room to pick out a movie to watch. She was surprised with how comfortable it felt being around Mal and taking direction from her. It didn’t feel forced for either party, and it didn’t make her feel like she was losing control of herself. Just like she was listening to someone who genuinely cared, and that felt nice. 

She went to the living room and settled on a Harry Potter marathon. She was, after all, a closeted Slytherin, and watching the movie always made her feel better when she was upset. This was a part of herself she wanted to share with Mal. The relaxed, almost child-like wonder she still got when watching movies about magic. 

Both being in yoga pants and t-shirts made it easy to get comfortable, and as Mal sat on the couch, she sat close enough to Regina that she could cuddle into her if she wanted, or take the space she knew she might need. They would move at Regina’s pace. Much to Mal’s surprise, and delight, Regina moved to lay down with her head in Mal’s lap much like she did last night. Mal started to stroke her hair, but before Regina could press play, Mal stopped her hand. Regina looked up questioning and Mal raised her eyebrow. 

“While we watch the movie, how do you feel about my rubbing your back?” Mal asked. 

Regina nodded and then added “you can. I’ll tell you if I need you to stop.” 

“Under or over your shirt?” Mal added for clarification. She was hoping Regina would let her touch her bare skin. Both because she wanted to, and because she wanted Regina to get used to a soft touch on her bare skin. She needed to get used to Mal’s hands before anything else. 

“Over first, you can go under, just… you’ll stop when I tell you to, right?” She asked biting her lower lip. 

“I will. You are safe with me, little one.” Mal smiled. Regina turned back and set the movie to play. As the theme played, she started rubbing circles and lazy patterns all over Regina’s back. Half way through the movie, she started to pull at the hem of Regina’s t-shirt, and frustrated by the fabric, Regina promptly sat up, haphazardly divested herself of the fabric, and laid back down on Mal’s lap. Mal looked at Regina who simply smiled.

“I can’t get used to what it feels like to have your hands on me when I have my shirt on. I won’t wear it during a scene, and I trust what you told me when you said you would stop.” Mal smiled and gave a look of pride and utter contentment as she started to rub Regina’s back. Mal immediately noticed how incredibly smooth Regina’s olive skin was. Her hand glided over it without much resistance. Regina was very responsive. Goosebumps trailed after Mal’s finger and she could feel Regina loosen her muscles to relax into the embrace as she got used to Mal’s touch.

She trailed her fingers from Regina’s prominent back dimples, up her spine, to her neck and messaged her scalp, tangling her fingers through auburn curls. Regina almost purred at that action, and Mal made a note of it for later. She traced her finger back down her neck and over her shoulders, in turn, Regina tilted her head farther into Mal’s lap, exposing more of the sensitive skin, and taking it as the invitation it was, Mal spent some time tracing lazy patterns on her neck and tops of her shoulders noting how sensitive this area seemed to be for Regina. Trailing her fingers down her arm, she laced their fingers together and leaned down to kiss Regina’s bronzed shoulder in an uncharacteristic show of affection. The soft gesture made Regina blush. She took a deep breath and turned around so her chest was exposed to Mal. 

Regina wasn’t body shy to say that least. She knew she was attractive and knew how to use it to her advantage when she was acting in her role as a Domme. Her refusal to let any of her submissives touch her only amplified their desire and the power she exuded over them; but this wasn’t that. She wasn’t using her body to exert control. She wasn’t using it as a leather-clad wall between the dynamic and her emotions. She was allowing Mal to see her without the façade, without the conditions. She was placing trust that in the burgeoning relationship, her vulnerability would be safe in Mal’s hands. 

Mal’s eyes took on a playful, almost lust-blown tint at seeing Regina’s dark nipples erect, at attention. Her eyes trailed down a taunt stomach and stopped at the slight space her hips created between the waistband of her yoga pants and her lower abdomen. She quirked her eyebrow, curious at the unprecedented declaration of trust that the act implied. Regina’s cheeks were rose-tinted and she wore a subtle smile, eyes searching Mal’s for indication of her next move. Fingers still laced together, Mal leaned close to Regina, lips brushing her ear and asked in a seductive whisper, “where do you want me?”

Mal knew the next move had to be Regina’s. She didn’t want to overstep and risk the fragile bond they had begun to weave together, and knew that just because she chose to show herself to Mal didn’t mean she wanted to add to her already vulnerable state by being touched. Regina, still looking into Mal’s eyes, took their intertwined fingers and placed them on her jaw line, leaning into the touch. She turned her eyes back to the movie, silently indicating that this was as far as she was willing to go at the moment. Mal leaned down to speak again. 

“Thank you for trusting me with yourself, little one,” she said softly but sincerely. She felt Regina lean her head back into Mal’s stomach in acknowledgment. Despite her aversion to most touch, Regina seems to be an incredibly tactile person. She doesn’t like to speak in words when she is taking on a more submissive role, but responds in subtle shifts of her weight such as leaning into touches she likes, tensing or relaxing her body to indicate her position on something Mal says, or presenting parts of herself to Mal as she feels ready to. 

Mal watched Regina closely as the movie progressed and couldn’t help the smile that splayed across her lips as she listened to Regina giggle or mouth the words to lines in the movie she particularly liked. Regina was a gorgeous person regardless of the state she took on. She dominated the rooms she walked into, and like Mal, had a tongue that could spit venom if the need arose, but a truly relaxed Regina was a beautiful site. She knew that this was not a side of herself she shared often, if at all, and was honored that Regina felt comfortable giving this piece of herself to Mal. 

As the movie wrapped up, Regina turned back, chest up towards Mal. 

“You know that movie well,” Mal said lightly as she smirked towards a now blushing Regina. 

“Call it a guilty pleasure.” Regina cocked her eyebrow playfully, trying to avoid thinking about just how much the blonde’s playful banter and unabashed gaze at her naked chest effected her. 

Mal continued staring at Regina, waiting for her to make the next move. Regina, eyeing her carefully, started playing with Mal’s fingertips with her own, mulling over the thought of having them elsewhere on her body. She didn’t want to push herself too much, but had really enjoyed Mal’s hands on her neck and shoulders. She never knew a touch could feel so nice. 

“How are you feeling?” Mal asked, sensing Regina was at a mental crossroad. 

“Relaxed,” she replied simply and with an air of lightness that Mal hadn’t experienced with Regina yet. She was glad that she was letting go and finding comfortability in this role. 

“How did it feel when I was rubbing you back?” Mal knew that Regina had enjoyed it by the way her body reacted, but she wanted to get Regina used to communicating the kinds of touch she liked and disliked with Mal. 

“Good, I liked when you were tracing patterns on my neck and shoulders… it wasn’t what I expected,” she said shyly. She wanted Mal to continue, she just didn’t know how to ask. 

“I love how responsive you are to my touch. You lean into it when you enjoy something I am doing and you tense up when you start to feel apprehensive. That’ll help me gauge our dynamic and your comfortability well.” Regina nodded in response, noticing that about herself as well. “I can practically hear your thoughts from here, dear. What’s going through your mind?” Regina looked up at her, contemplating how much to share. Sensing the brunette’s hesitation, she added, “I know that you are used to biting back your desires out of fear of what they might bring up or because it feels too impossible to trust someone enough to ask,” Regina stilled as Mal spoke, and she knew she had guessed Regina’s fear correctly. She continued, holding Regina’s gaze. “I want you to try and voice them to me. I cannot read your mind, dear. If you want something, ask me. If you are scared, tell me, and we can navigate it together. You will not be judged – not for you desires, nor for any reactions you have to anything we try.” 

Regina clenched her jaw, trying to bite back the tears that were threatening to form at Mal’s kind words and understanding. Mal cupped her jaw and stroked her cheek with her thumb. 

“Do not hide yourself from me, little one. Your emotions will be respected. Let them be.” Her tone was soft and absolute. Regina took a deep breath as a few tears trailed from hazel eyes.

“Will you…” Regina couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence, but she moved Mal’s hand to her shoulder and tilted her head, exposing her neck. 

“Of course. Thank you for asking for what you need.” Mal started tracing patterns on Regina’s shoulders and neck as she turned on another movie. The soft ministrations, the warm body beside her, and the background noise of the familiar movie relaxed Regina enough that her exhaustion from days previous and anxiety-induced insomnia caught up to her. Her eyes started to flutter shut, but she kept forcing them open, not wanting to fall asleep. Mal recognized the signs of exhaustion, and watched as Regina valiantly fought her body’s need for rest. She knew that she must be drained, both from her training at the club and the emotional toll of the past few days. Deciding now was a time to step in, she leaned down, and whispered to Regina. “I will not leave you, little one. Let go and close your eyes. Your body and mind need the rest. I will be here when you wake up.” 

Regina curled into Mal as she continued to stroke olive skin, lulling her into a much needed sleep.

Regina woke to the sun starting to set, and knew she had been asleep for a long while. As promised, Mal was still holding her watching the fourth Harry Potter movie. It seemed she had continued the marathon while Regina slept, and the brunette couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of the badass Domme, nicknamed ‘The Dragon’, watching a children’s movie about wizards and magic.

“I can see why you like these movies,” Mal commented with a smile when she felt the brunette stir. Regina gave a deep throated chuckle; her voice coated with sleep making it deeper than her naturally raspy tone. 

“You stayed.” Regina’s hoped she would, but had learned to expect people’s words to hold little weight. 

“I promised I would, and I do not make promises that I do not intend to keep.” Regina smiled and took Mal’s hand, lacing their fingers together and splaying them, her hand atop Mal’s, on her bare abdomen. Regina took in a sharp breath and slowly released it, relaxing into the new touch, knowing that in that moment, she controlled how far it went and when it ended. 

Mal watched Regina with intent, making careful observations of her facial expressions and body language in an attempt to gauge how this particular touch was effecting the brunette. She had initiated it, but knew what a leap of faith something this intimate was, and wanted to make sure her little one was okay. Slowly, in an enormous show of trust, Regina lifted her hand off of Mal’s, giving her control over the touch and a new portion of her body. 

Mal bent down and kissed the top of auburn curls, before leaning down further to whisper in her ear. “Thank you for trusting me, little one.” She lowered her voice and spoke more seductively as she said, “How would you like to be touched right now?” Regina looked directly at Mal and responded softly, but with absoluteness. 

“I trust you… just not below my waistline.” Mal nodded her understanding and started to trace patterns over Regina’s abdomen in a similar fashion as she did her back earlier that morning. She noted the way her stomach retracted when she moved over a particularly ticklish spot on her ribs and how her breath quickened as Mal’s fingers traced the divit between Regina’s hip and the waistline of her yoga pants, noting that particular erogenous zone for later use. She ran her fingertip under the curve of Regina’s breast and looked into hazel eyes. 

“May I?” Regina nodded softly, though Mal was quick to add, “with words, please.” 

“Yes.” Her voice was breathy and her pupils dialated. Mal knew that her touch was having an effect on Regina whether she was ready to admit it or not. Mal started slowly, keeping careful watch over Regina for any signs of panic. She knew that being aroused might be disconcerting enough for Regina to try and run, and she wanted to prevent that to the greatest extent possible. She traced her fingertip along the curve under Regina’s breats, slowly, then trailed her fingers over her sternum and repeated the same action to her other breast. She started tracing lazy circles around her breast from the outside moving in, until she was an inch from Regina’s darkened nipple, moving to the opposite breast to do the same. Regina’s breathing came heavier as the rise and fall of her chest became more pronounced. She lifted her chest into Mal’s hands, beckoning her to touch her painfully erect nipples. Gods how Mal longed to keep teasing Regina, she was so deliciously responsive, but she knew that now was not the time for play. 

Cupping Regina’s right breast, she softly slipped her thumb over her nipple and watched as Regina sucked in an imperceptible breath and bit her lower lip softly. Mal turned Regina fully on her back, between Mal’s legs, so she could mirror the action; her other hand on Regina’s left breast. Mal lightly rolled her nipples between her index finger and thumbs, pulled lightly, taking note of the hitch in Regina’s breath as she did so. Regina was so incredibly silent, but her body reacted with fervor. 

Regina’s body immediately tensed, and her hands abruptly went to cover Mal’s ceasing any further movement, removing them from her chest. She quickly sat up, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself, shaking her head back and forth, and Mal knew that Regina was probably both scared and confused at her arousal. She didn’t want Regina to feel like her reactions were unwelcome, and remembering how well Regina had responded to praise and softly firm instruction, she walked around the couch facing towards the trembling brunette, keeping her hands well within Regina’s line of sight. 

“Regina, eyes please.” Mal spoke in a tone more fitting that of a Mommy Domme than ‘The Dragon’. Regin shook her head no and tried, in vane, to burrow her head farther into her knees. “Now, please.” Regina slowly lifted her head. There was so much confusion and upset written in the depths of Regina’s bloodshot eyes. Tears welled up as she met cerulean orbs that held nothing but understanding. “I know you are scared and confused right now. Before we talk about that, I want you to know that I am so proud of you, dear. I know what a tremendous step that was, and it was truly beautiful. Thank you for trusting me with yourself that much.” Regina blushed and moved to hide her head from Mal again, not knowing what to do with the swarm of emotions that racked her mind.

“There is no need to hide, little one. I am glad we found a way that touch can bring you that kind of pleasure, and I very much enjoyed being a part of that.” Mal looked directly at Regina, conveying the sincerity in her words. “Being aroused brought something up for you. You panicked when you reached a certain point. Can you tell me what happened?” Regina shook her head no. “With words, please,” Mal reminded.

“No.” Regina’s words came out barely above a whisper. 

“Why’s that, dear?” This didn’t sound like defiance to Mal; this sounded more like confusion… like she couldn’t say because she truly didn’t have the words. 

“I… I don’t. That’s never happened before, not that much, and I don’t..” Regina’s voice started to break as she choked back tears. 

“You said you had never had a positive sexual experience. I didn’t realize that meant you had never been aroused like that before. I bet that was disconcerting.” Mal spoke with a softness that told Regina that she understood what that was like. 

“How did you know?” Regina spoke softly, genuinely curious as to how the blonde seemed to inherently know her fears and where they came from. 

“Because I remember what it was like the first time I had gotten that aroused after what had happened to me. It was scary, being that out of control, even in pleasure… maybe especially so. It took me a while before I was able to let go enough to enjoy it.” Mal’s voice held a sadness that Regina recognized all too well. That is how Mal knew how to act with her. She understood.

“How did you? Let go, I mean?” Regina asked cautiously, not wanting to upset the blonde.

“A very patient partner who let me take the lead and sat with me through all of the times I panicked. She never pushed or questioned my boundaries, and they were ever changing. It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what I liked and what worked for me, but she was willing to try anything that I thought might make it easier.” Mal saw the look of defeat painted across Regina’s face, and added, “it might take a while, but we will find out what works for you.” 

“That doesn’t feel possible,” Regina whispered as a tear fell from her waterline. 

“I know,” and she did. 


	5. Chapter V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I had the rare day off today and decided that it was best spent writing this fic! 
> 
> A few of you have commented that you want Mal to deal with Graham, so here is it! Also, a RedBeauty scene because I love the idea of that relationship so much.
> 
> The story will only get more BDSM heavy from here on out. Tags will be updated as I go.
> 
> Feedback is always welcome!
> 
> M.

Slowly the tension left Regina’s body at the realization that Mal knew, and she was willing to become an active participant in helping Regina parse through the cascade of emotions, memories, and inexplicable reactions she has to opening herself up to the possibility of care… of intimacy. She wanted this, longed for it, but the mantra in the back of her head, the one spoken in her mother’s icy tone, kept repeating on a loop, “Don’t show them any weakness, Regina.” It wasn’t a suggestion born out of genuine concern. It was a command given in conjunction with physical reminders of just how much pain being vulnerable could cause. Try as she might, it was a lesson she was unable to forget. 

It was a constant effort to remind herself that this was Mal. Mal who had shown her nothing but care and kindness; Mal who has always respected Regina’s boundaries; Mal who has never shied away from Regina’s chaotic mind or trauma-induced panic. She cared, and Regina was slowly learning, convincing herself that maybe, just maybe, she could trust that. 

She let Mal pry her hands out from around her knees and she started to gently manipulate them to help Regina’s shoulders and upper back loose some of its protective rigidity. When her arms could hang relaxed at her side, Mal moved to sit behind Regina, reaching around her body, and gently pressing on her knees, coaxing them away from the brunette’s chest. Mal kissed Regina’s shoulder as she let her body relax into Mal, and the blonde took her by the shoulders, laying them down together. Regina crossed her arms over her chest, covering her breasts, as she laid her head on Mal’s chest. Understanding that Regina couldn’t handle the vulnerable position of being half nude any longer, Mal grabbed the throw blanket from it’s neatly folded position on the back of the couch and covered the both of them with it. Regina gave her a light smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes as she reached for Mal’s hands under the blanket, intertwining them. 

After a few hours of silently enjoying each other’s closeness and yet another movie, Mal leaned close to Regina and spoke, lips barely above the upper curve of Regina’s ear. 

“I have to go back to the club tonight, dear. I have some business that needs attending to.” Seeing Regina’s well-covered disappointment at that declaration, she added carefully, “ I would like it if you would join me; I have something I would like to show you.” She held up a hand as Regina started to open her mouth to say something. “ and before you work yourself into a panic, your status as my submissive is not known to anyone else, nor does it need to be. You’d simply be coming as my guest.” Regina mulled it over. She knew she didn’t want to share this side of herself with anyone else, and she trusted that Mal would keep this between them unless Regina told her otherwise. She had to admit, she missed going to the club. She missed the atmosphere and being able to observe scenes that others put on, but more than that, she missed the power she felt from knowing that she commanded whatever room she walked into. She wasn’t in the mood to play with anyone tonight, but it might be nice to just go and enjoy the Scene. 

“What time do you have to be there?” Mal gave her a knowing smirk and small chuckle. 

“Ten o’clock. Why don’t I go home, get changed, and pick you up around nine-thirty?” 

“I’d like that.” Regina groaned as she sat forward in order to allow Mal to maneuver herself out from under the brunette, and Mal responded to the noise with a light-hearted chuckle. Regina shot her a playfully annoyed look over her shoulder and proceeded to force her body into a standing position, wrapping the throw blanket around herself as she went. Her body swayed at the sudden change, and Mal, anticipating such a response, was quick to place a hand on the small of the brunette’s back, steadying her. 

“I put the rest of the omelet from this morning in your refrigerator. Eat it before I pick you up. I will not have you passing out from malnutrition.” Mal’s tone gave no room for discussion. Though her tone was light, Regina couldn’t mistake it for anything other than what it was… an order from her Domme. 

Regina wasn’t ready to use an honor title with Mal yet, and the blonde hadn’t felt the need to have that discussion with her, though, she had no doubt that conversation was coming. Not knowing how Mal preferred to be address when she was in this role, she slightly nodded her head and answered softly, “I will.” Mal, satisfied with that response, grabbed her purse and shoes from the foyer, Regina behind her to walk her out. She opened the door and turned towards Regina. 

“If you change your mind, just text me. You’ve had a very long few days, and I would understand and support you if you chose to stay home for a night in.” Mal smiled softly as she spoke and Regina knew that Mal meant what she said, opting again for a small nod of her head in acknowledgment and affirmation of the blonde’s words. 

Mal left and Regina stood, forehead to the door, while she processed the events of the day. She felt relaxed and cared for, but was still so confused and scared by what she had felt when Mal was caressing her breasts on the couch. She had been aroused before; it was an inevitable feeling when you’re in the middle of a scene with a beautiful submissive nude and eager at your feet, or restrained to a St. Andrew’s cross, moaning, conflicted as to whether to lean into or move away from the lash of a whip. The power and trust being placed in her was intoxicating and had aroused her before, but she’d always been able to control it; to tamp it down and focus on the pleasure of her s-type. What she felt with Mal was different. She had given over to the blonde’s skillful touch, and her mind had started to slip into a place she had never been before – surrendering to the sensations Mal was coaxing out of her. She had lost her control and composure; it felt like falling, and it had been pleasurable in the moments before her mind threw her into a full-blown panic. She wondered if it was like that for Mal… an intoxicating slip. She didn’t know how anyone could feel safe enough to lean into that sensation instead of running away from it. It felt too scary to let go like that. 

She pulled herself out of her thoughts knowing she only had just over an hour to get dressed, do her make-up, and eat before Mal arrived to pick her up and take her to the club. She quickly folded the grey, knit blanket she had been using as a shawl, setting it back in it’s place on the back of the couch before heading up the stairs to her bedroom. She quickly peeled off her yoga pants and the thong she had been wearing in favor of a black, lace trimmed, satin thong with a matching push-up bra, garter, and stockings. Her lingerie always made her feel sexy – no one had to, or usually did see it, but knowing how she looked in this mini-outfit hidden under her leather attire always made her feel a sensual kind of power. She slipped on a mid-thigh length, black, leather dress with a gold zipper that ran the length of the back before slipping on a pair of towering black stiletto pumps. She sat at her vanity to apply her make-up for the night before putting on a pair of golden hoop earrings to complete the look. Making her way back down the stairs, she looked in the hallway mirror, giving a devious smirk at the soft smokey eye, paired with a bold blood-red lip, knowing how it would look in the dimly-lit club. She heated up the omelet Mal had left for her and sat at the counter, taking bird-like bites as to not smudge her lipstick, just finishing it as she heard Mal’s car pull into the driveway. 

Mal came to the door in leather pants that left absolutely nothing to the imagination, a leather corset, and her blonde hair perfectly curled and secured in a slicked-back high pony. Mal was taller than Regina regardless of how they dressed, but she absolutely towered over the brunette in heels. Her make-up was as dark as Regina’s, but with a plum purple lip in lieu of red, and she looked every bit her nickname; Regina was meeting ‘The Dragon’. Regina lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow as Mal unabashedly took in Regina’s wardrobe choices, devious smile growing as her gaze lifted her eyes from the brunette’s stilettos, to the blood-adorned lip. 

“You look absolutely delicious, my dear,” Mal commented, voice laced with desire.

“As do you, Dragon.” Regina winked, her tone playful. Mal lifted an eyebrow and smirked, eyes darkening. 

“Watch it, beastie,” Mal’s tone a dark, lustful warning, “or The Dragon might just decide to come out to play.” Regina blushed at the implication, and took the hand offered out to her. Mal opened the passenger-side door for Regina before taking up her seat at the driver’s side. They drove to the club, hands intertwined at the center console. Regina’s mind couldn’t stop thinking about Mal’s earlier comment and the implications. She knew Mal’s reputation… everyone did, and she wondered just what The Dragon was capable of. 

“I think I might like that…” she whispered, half hoping she had spoken softly enough for it to miss Mal’s ears. No such luck. Mal glanced over at the brunette, eyes calculating. 

“Like what, beastie?” Regina shivered at the nickname and Mal smirked, knowingly. 

“To meet The Dragon.” Regina’s voice held more conviction now that her desire had been voiced. Mal squeezed her hand reassuringly, knowing that behind Regina’s bravado was an apprehensiveness that she was unwilling to let show. 

“If that is still the case at the end of the night, we will talk more about what that means, my dear.” Mal’s tone held more care than Regina might have expected, though given the way Mal had interacted with her over the past few days, it shouldn’t have come as a complete surprise. 

“Yes, Mal,” Regina replied with a breath, allowing a more submissive answer hoping to show Mal that this is something she wanted to and was willing to start exploring. Mal looked towards the brunette and smiled, affection in her eyes. 

When they reached the club, looking more like a warehouse from the outside, Mal turned off the ignition and, body facing Regina, took both of the brunette’s hands, beckoning eye contact and attentiveness. Regina responded, turning her body towards Mal and meeting her eyes directly. 

“When we walk through those doors, how you choose to interact with me in public is up to you. I expect respect, but do not expect for you to treat me as your dominate or act in a submissive role. If you wish to have physical contact, be that hand-holding, hugging, or otherwise, I will wait for you to initiate.” Regina nodded her understanding, but kept quiet knowing that Mal wasn’t finished speaking. “ I need you to know something very important about me, Regina. I do not share. When I choose to take a submissive, I do not allow them to submit to others, and I do not dominate others while they are in my care. My attention is absolute. While I do not expect nor want you to stop dominating, as I know that is an important part of you, I expect your submission and this journey we are on to it, to be exclusive between the two of us. Tell me now if this is something that you do not want.” Regina looked directly into Mal’s eyes as she spoke. 

“My submission is not something I am willing to give to anyone else.” Regina was absolute in her statement and Mal smiled. She believed that to be the case with the brunette, but she wanted, and knew Regina needed, clear expectations for their dynamic. “I do like holding your hand, though.” Regina’s tone was more soft, eyes slightly downcast. Mal knew that was as close to asking as she was willing or able to get right now, so Mal took it as the request it was. She unlaced their hands, got out of the car, and met Regina in front it. They walked hand-in-hand towards the club, and Regina gave a light smile at the possessiveness the blonde showed towards her. Both squared their shoulders and slipped on their facades as they opened the club doors and walked in.

Feeling the heavy bass of the music in their chests as they walked through the door, Mal knew Ruby had taken to selecting the evening’s playlist. She played bass-heavy music whenever she planned on conducting a public scene with Belle, her long-time submissive and partner. The blonde knew that she would plan the evening so she and Regina could watch Ruby work. She and Belle were a truly mesmerizing pair. Knowing Ruby would be behind the bar, Mal walked with purpose to the sapphire-lit oak countertop, Regina in hand, wanting to finish all of the managerial business she had quickly in order to enjoy the night with Regina. She led Regina to one of the seats and leaned her head over the bar looking for her assistant manager. 

“Ruby, dear,” she called out playfully. Ruby popped her head up from under the bar and smiled at Mal. 

“Miss Mal! What can I do for you?” She was in a tight red leather, corset-backed dress and red, knee-high lace-up boots that must have taken her the better part of an hour and Belle’s help to get into. 

“I need you to find Graham and call him into my office. I need to speak to him.” Ruby knew Mal well enough to know exactly how that conversation was going to play out by the tone her voice took. She was in Dragon mode, as Ruby had likened to calling it. 

“Of course, I believe he is upstairs.” Ruby looked over at Regina, smiled widening, and turned her attention towards the brunette, ignoring the warning look on Mal’s face. 

“Wow, and just who might you be?” Ruby’s voice was playful as she stared at Regina, lightly licking her bottom lip, holding back her desire not at all. Regina’s eyes darkened and a devious smirk painted across her face, but Mal cut in before she could speak. 

“She is not available, wolf. She is here as my guest.” Mal’s warning tone was impossible to miss, much less by someone who knew her as well as Ruby. Ruby rolled her eyes at the protective display and turned towards her mentor. Regina lightly chuckled, sitting back, enjoying the banter.

“I wouldn’t dare!” Ruby placed her hand on her heart, feigning shock at the implication. Mal shook her head lightly and responded with a raised eyebrow and an “mmm, hmm” both knowing that that is exactly the kind of thing Ruby would do. Ruby laughed earnestly and looked between her mentor and the brunette sitting at the bar stool. “Are you coming to watch Belle and I tonight? I’m going to be suspending her on the main stage.” Regina’s smile widened as she nodded. 

“I would love to see that.” Her tone was sincere, and knowing both her and Mal’s affinity for rope, she suspected Mal would also want to observe. 

“As would I. You and Belle are always a pleasure to watch.” Ruby smiled at the light praise coming from her mentor. 

“Great! Let me finish this up, then I’ll grab Graham for you. I take it you’re heading to your office now?” Ruby turned towards Mal, eager to get the other brunette alone to get the low-down on their relationship. Ruby was nothing if not a connoisseur of juicy Scene gossip, and anything surrounding The Dragon was considered a hot topic. 

“I am.” Mal started to walk off, but stopped, throwing over her shoulder, “Put Regina’s drinks on my tab, and be nice. I will be back shortly.” She smiled at both of them, knowing Regina was in good, if not slightly jovial hands with Ruby. 

Ruby turned to Regina when Mal was out of earshot and quirked her head to the side, leaning her body up against the bar. 

“So… you and Mal, huh?” Regina raised her eyebrow at the blatant attempt at gossiping. She chuckled lightly and turned her attentions towards the other brunette. 

“Indeed.” She gave a light dip of her head in affirmation as she spoke. 

“How did you guys meet? I haven’t seen The Dragon with anyone in a long time.” She rolled her eyes and drew out the word ‘long’ as if to emphasize her point. Regina let out a single laugh and an eye roll of her own. 

“Gods, you’re worse than a teenage school-girl, aren’t you?” Regina quipped light-heartedly. Ruby smiled and shrugged. 

“I like to gossip. What can I say?” Ruby was matter-of-fact, and Regina was about to reply when a petite, bookish brunette set herself on the stool next to Regina. 

“You’re not trying to pry information out of the poor girl already, are you wolfy?” The girl spoke in an Australian accent and had her chocolate curls braided down her back, accentuating her red, leather lingerie and the thin, black collar she wore adorned with a wolf charm. 

“How dare you accuse me of such things!” Eyes wide as she playfully pretended to be affronted. Belle pursed her lips in response, to which Ruby rolled her eyes and with an exaggerated exhale added, ”there is nothing wrong with trying to keep things interesting, Belle.”

“If you say so, but when Mal bites your head off for sticking your snout where it doesn’t belong, I will have an ‘I told you so’ and earnest laugh at the ready,” Belle quipped. There banter was light-hearted and Regina was thoroughly enjoying watching Ruby interact with her partner. 

“And I will be more than happy to take you over my knee for it, cub.” Ruby quirked her eyebrow at Belle’s blush and Regina didn’t even try to hide her amusement. 

“You’re Belle, I take it?” She asked taking pity on the girl who came to her rescue from the personified gossip mill. 

“I am, and you are?” 

“Regina,” she said holding out her hand to shake the smaller brunette’s. 

“So, if My Wolf’s behavior is any indication, my guess is you’re with Mal?” Ruby rolled her eyes at being read so well, but Belle was nothing if not intuitive. 

“I am,” Regina began, but was interrupted by Ruby who quickly set a glass down and went wide-eyed, remembering something. 

“Shit, and Mal’s waiting in her office for me to get Graham for her.” Ruby shot out as she quickly went about her task of straightening up the bar as she had told Mal she had to do before retrieving Graham for her. Belle and Regina both laughed at Ruby’s obvious frenzy which earned them both an unamused look. 

Ruby went to walk out from behind the bar as Belle shot at her, “that’s what you get for being such a gossip, Wolfy!” Both Regina and Belle burst out in another fit of laughter at the look Ruby shot them as she ascended the stairs to the upper dungeon. Belle turned towards Regina, after Ruby was out of eyeshot. 

“She’s harmless, really. She’s just far more sociable than most people, and likes being in the know.” Belle’s attempt to explain Ruby to Regina was endearing, and the smile on Belle’s face as she said it made it even more so. Regina beckoned another bartender over and ordered herself and Belle a soda water. Belle thanked her and continued as they sipped their drinks. “She and Mal go way back. She trained under Mal when she first got to the club a few years ago, and they’ve been friends since. Ruby’s loyal to a fault, so she makes it her personal mission to know everything she can about anyone who comes into Mal’s life.” 

“I can understand that.” She herself was an incredibly loyal person, and could empathize with Ruby’s need to protect her friend. Just then Ruby descended the stairs, her teeth gritted in an “oh, shit” kind of grimace as she walked towards the bar. 

“Made The Dragon wait too long, did you? I...” Belle jested, but Ruby held her hand up before the brunette could continue her ‘I told you so’. 

“Don’t,” Ruby playfully warned, “or there is a spanking bench and a riding crop with your name written all over it.” Belle laughed at her partner’s light-hearted threat, knowing full well that that predicament wouldn’t be a punishment for either of them. 

Mal sat behind her desk waiting for Ruby to fetch Graham from whatever corner of the dungeon he had dragged a house sub to tonight. She knew Ruby well enough to know that she was probably playing twenty questions with Regina to find out about the nature of their relationship, but Mal was confident in Regina’s ability to withstand the wolf’s attentions.

Mal shook her head slightly thinking back to the night she had first met Regina and how close Graham had come to hitting her… how hard he was grabbing her. It made her blood boil that he would man-handle Regina, knowing that he had dismissed Regina’s boundaries during their scene in the dungeon and blatantly ignored them when he grabbed and rose a hand to her in Mal’s office. Her fists clenched in anger, and metaphoric smoke was rising in coils from her nostril. She schooled her body language and emotions as to give absolutely nothing away to the man about to walk into The Dragon’s Lair.

There was a light knock on the door and she knew it had to be Ruby with Graham in tow. She took one last mental inventory of her body language and thoughts before replying, “Come in.” 

Her voice was steel and Ruby couldn’t help but wince a bit at the iciness of the tone Mal took. ‘Graham’s as good as charcoal,’ she thought as she led him into the office. Mal stood at attention, shoulders pulled back, radiating her authority as Graham walked through the door with a nonchalance that irritated her beyond belief. ‘He doesn’t think he did anything wrong,’ she thought.

“Mal,” he said as he dipped his head slightly in acknowledgment. His cocky attitude was on Mal’s last nerve. Neglecting to use Mal’s title was disrespectful at best, and implied that he believed them to be on equal ground, and they most certainly were not.

“You’ll do best to remember your place with me, Graham,” she said in a dangerously neutral tone as she gestured for him to step up to the platform and take one of the seats in front of her desk. Graham’s bravado slipped slightly at the reprimand, but not nearly enough to imply he held any respect for Mal or her authority in the club. He took a seat and only then did Mal do so herself, crossing her knees and lacing her fingers together on top of her desk. 

“Graham, I am going to make this short and to the point,” she started, letting enough of her annoyance show for him to know that this conversation would not end in his favor. “You have been on a probationary period because of your etiquette, or lack thereof, with your submissives. I made it abundantly clear that if you did not start treating them with respect and become more cognizant of how your behavior and actions impact them, that you would no longer be welcome at this club.” Graham opened his mouth to speak, but Mal held her hand up and spat, “Do not interrupt me. I have had quite enough of your disrespect as of late.” Graham closed his mouth, jaw clenched, and shot her a look of pure disdain. “You came into my office, without permission might I add, last week very roughly gripping the submissive you had been assigned that day. If that was not bad enough, you not only blatantly ignored her request for you to unhand her, but you raised your hand to hit her when she defended herself. That alone is enough to terminate you. After speaking with her, she told me that she explicitly stated that she did not wish to be touched before your scene began, and that you grabbed her in spite of that fact when walking her over to the St. Andrew’s cross. Is that correct?” Graham went to answer, but Mal quickly added, “and don’t you dare lie to me.” 

“Yes, but…” Mal stopped him before he could continue. 

“Do not try and justify your actions. She agreed to a scene within the boundaries that were discussed beforehand, and you have just informed me that you violated that agreement. You are done here, both as a Dom and a patron. I take consent in my establishment with the incredible seriousness that it is due, and will not have someone that I cannot trust to uphold it here. You are dismissed.” Graham’s fists clenched. 

“I’ll just find another club. It’s not like you are the only option, Dragon,” He spat. 

“Do not underestimate the seriousness of your actions or my ability to make them known to those who are in positions of power. My word means something in this community. You’d do best to remember that. Dismissed,” she said with more absoluteness than previous. Graham abruptly stood, sliding back the chair hard enough for it to fall backwards, before storming out of the office, slamming the door behind him like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum. Mal clenched her jaw and sucked her teeth in annoyance before picking the chair up and walking down to the side table next to the couch. She sat down, poured herself some water, and took a few deep breaths to calm down, rubbing her temples silently willing the migraine that Graham’s outburst had caused to dissipate. When her head was more level and she was able to think with more clarity, she walked back up to her desk and started calling the club owners she knew to inform them of Graham and his actions in case he made good on his threat to try and find another club. It was not a shock that none of them had any desire to hire someone that ignorant or unsafe. Satisfied that he could no longer do any damage to any self-respecting sub, she walked back out into the club in search of Regina. 

Mal couldn’t help the smile that splayed across her face when she found Regina in what looked to be a light-hearted conversation with Ruby and Belle. She trusted both of them implicitly, and knew that Regina had been taken care of while she was gone. As she came into ear shot, she started to laugh, hearing how the wolf was accosting Regina with as many questions as she could possibly manage to get out before Mal returned and shut down the inquiry. She stood, still out of sight, and chuckled at Regina’s noncommittal response and Belle’s amusement at Ruby’s growing frustration. When Ruby finally threw up her hands and declared “you’re no fun!” To Regina, Mal decided to give her girl some reprieve and stepped up to the bar. 

“She is fun, she just has no desire to entertain your barrage of nosey questions,” Mal said lightly. Regina and Belle laughed. Ruby glared at the pair of brunettes and turned her attention towards Mal. 

“It’s not like I can get any answers out of you! I had to try and get my information from somewhere, but it seems you’ve found someone who is even more stubborn than you!” Ruby put her hands on her hips and pouted lightly. Regina quirked her eyebrow at Ruby’s display. 

“Don’t pout, dear, it’s unbecoming of you,” Regina said light-heartedly. Belle broke out into a full-blown fit of laughter while Mal bit back hers, albeit unsuccessfully. Ruby glared at her and pointed towards Regina. 

“We are not done,” she declared before pointing towards Belle and continuing, “and we have a scene to prepare for.” Belle nodded, trying to compose herself as she followed Ruby around the bar and upstairs towards the stage. 

“They’re quite the pair,” Regina said with a light chuckle as she turned towards Mal. She reached out her hand and Mal took it automatically, missing the connection with the brunette as much as the blonde herself did. 

“They are, though Ruby can be a bit of a handful sometimes.” Mal gave a slight smile at the thought of her friend’s boisterous personality.

“Belle mentioned she used to be your sub. I imagine she has a bit of a brat in her,” Regina said as more a knowing declaration than a question. 

“Oh yes,” Mal said lightly laughing remembering some of Ruby’s more defiant performances, “she can be. She is definitely more comfortable on the other side of the power exchange. Her and Belle are well suited for each other.” 

“That they are. You can tell they have been together for a while. They seem completely comfortable with each other.” Regina had been closely observing them as they were all talking, and she was interested more in what was spoken without words; the knowing looks and subtle gesture that spoke volumes to each other, but went unnoticed by most everyone else. 

“Just over two years. They are very well in-tune with each other.” Mal looked towards Regina making certain that she held no jealousy surrounding her and Ruby’s prior arrangement. She didn’t see anything to indicate such in Regina; just genuine curiosity and remarks regarding what she had observed from conversing with them. Mal nodded towards the stairs and asked, “would you still like to go watch?” 

“I would, very much so.” Regina let Mal lead her up the stairs towards the main stage at the back of the dungeon.

Ruby had set up the suspension ring, an O ring that hung from the ceiling, and laid out a plethora of jute rope, varying in length, all neatly coiled and laid out within arm’s reach. Belle was kneeling at Ruby’s feet, adorned in nothing but a red lace thong and her wolf charm collar, eyes downcast, shoulders pulled back, and hands flat, palm down on her thighs. The room dropped away from the pair as Ruby squatted down, whispering something imperceptible to the audience into Belle’s ear, earning a shy smile from the brunette. Ruby took the first length of rope, folding it in half and wrapped it around Belle, positioning it just under the petite woman’s breasts, before she led the other end of the rope through the loop, securing it and the brunette’s arms to Belle’s side. She wrapped the free section behind and over Belle’s left shoulder, lacing it between her breasts, under and through the section of rope at the brunette’s rib cage, and across her sternum, over her other shoulder. She continued weaving the rope around Belle until her chest adorned a perfect pentagram, checking the tension of the rope and Belle’s circulation as she went. 

Belle’s face held a look of complete content and her eyes fluttered shut, trusting Ruby to manipulate and restrain her body with care. She instructed Belle to widen her stance as she started on a complicated hip harness that would serve as the main tension point of the suspension. Ruby’s skin glanced over Belle’s and you could see the goosebumps that trailed Ruby’s every touch. Belle leaned into Ruby’s movements, giving herself over to the pull of the rope. When the hip harness was complete, Ruby gently helped Belle to lay in her side where she restrained her leg, calf flush against the back of her thigh, securing her bound leg to the hip harness. She turned Belle over and did the same to the other leg. When Belle was laying on her side, completely bound, Ruby started securing doubled over lengths of rope from her chest, hip, and right leg harness to the suspension ring above them. Ruby double checked all of her ties; checking the tension, Belle’s circulation, and the placement of the knots. When she was satisfied she had safely bound Belle to the ring, she stood and started to lift the brunette in the air. 

Ruby and Belle both smiled as she swung, the former watching her with great attentiveness all the while. Belle was gorgeous. The red thong contrasted beautifully with her lightly tanned skin, and Ruby had masterfully tied the rope, creating a kind of intricate art on Belle. It was intimate and it was beautiful to watch. 

Ruby started to slowly lower Belle to the ground and kissed her softly when her body laid flat on the mat beneath them. Belle was euphoric, and Ruby could tell she wasn’t in much of a position to talk. They had planned for this – the brunette always lost herself during a full suspension. Ruby began carefully untying Belle, gently caressing her body as she went. Watching her be unbound was almost as gorgeous as watching her be bound. The lines from the rope were painted across the brunette in perfect replica of her restrained position, and she was sure that Belle would love them when she came back into her body. When she was completely untied, Ruby thanked the audience, and led Belle into a private room for aftercare. 

Mal squeezed Regina’s hand as the crowd dissipated, prompting Regina to look up. Both women had a soft smile on their faces, and Mal knew Regina had enjoyed the scene. 

“How’d you enjoy that?” Mal knew that answer, but asked with the sole purpose of acclimating Regina to sharing her internal thoughts with Mal.

“It was beautiful,” Regina’s reply was soft spoken as she continued, “Ruby is quite the rigger, and you couldn’t miss the trust that Belle placed in her. You’re right, they are very in-sync.” Mal nodded, feeling similarly. “How was the business you had to attend to?” Regina hadn’t gotten a chance to ask since the blonde returned from her office. 

“Despite my reputation, I do no like firing people, though I had much less of a qualm about it in doing so with Graham. I am glad he is gone.” Mal did not miss Regina’s darkened expression at the mention of Graham, or the guilt that washed over her features at hearing he had been let go. 

“It was because of me,” she said simply. She never intended for him to get fired, though he was an absolutely awful Dom. 

“In part, yes, but he was on probation before his incident with you. He was ignorant, and I refuse to let anyone, especially someone in my club, put someone’s safety at risk as he did with you. Do not take on this guilt. It is not yours to bare. He made his own choices, and this is the consequence for those actions.” Mal squeezed Regina’s hand again, keeping true to her word of letting Regina initiate physical contact, though she wished to pull the brunette into a hug. 

“I know. I cannot help it sometimes.” Regina took on the weight of the world, regardless of whether or not it was hers the shoulder. She always had. Mal gave her a knowing look, and carefully regarded Regina before speaking again. 

“I told you I would like to show you something tonight and that is still the case. However, I would like to have a discussion beforehand. Care to take a trip to my office with me?” Mal smiled hoping to abate some of the brunette’s apprehensiveness as she followed behind her Dom. 


	6. Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it’s about high time Regina and Mal have their first scene. 
> 
> M.

When they came into her office, Mal quickly locked the door, not wanting to be bothered with she was with Regina, and walked them over to one of the couches in the center of the room. She took both of the brunette’s hands and faced her. 

“I would like to show you my playroom tonight,” she began, watching Regina intently as she spoke. “We do not have to do anything tonight, but it is a space I would like for you to start getting familiar with. How does that sound?” Regina nodded, but Mal prompted her, “with words, little one.” 

“We can do that.” Regina’s tone was soft, and didn’t hold nearly the anxiety Mal believed it would. 

“Before we go in, there are a few things that we should discuss and that you should know. First, my playroom is sacred to me. I do not show it to many people, and certainly no one recently. I expect respect when we enter into that space.” She waited for Regina to process her words and stopped herself from continuing as she felt Regina gear up to speak. 

“What title do you prefer to be called by?” The anxiety Regina was feeling was ever present in her voice. She didn’t want to insult Mal by not calling her by her preferred title, but she also didn’t want to call her something that felt unnatural or disingenuous rolling off her tongue. 

“That is a conversation we have to have. Everyone around the club calls me ‘Miss Mal’, though that is not the title you have to address me by if it does not feel right to us. Have you thought about what you would like to call me?” Mal was genuinely curious as to whether or not the brunette had thought about it, and by the blush on Regina’s cheeks, she had. 

“I have thought about it, I… just haven’t found anything that feels right, if that makes sense.” Regina was trying, hard, to not be as anxious about this as she was, so she tried to speak with honesty. She was glad that Mal didn’t have a preference with her. It gave them room to decide what felt right for them. 

“It makes perfect sense, and that’s okay, dear. Why don’t you pick one out to use for tonight? See how if feels. If we don’t like it, we’ll try something else.” Mal felt the tension leave Regina’s body as she spoke, and she was glad that the brunette was calming down a bit. Her next suggestion would never work if she didn’t. 

“Do you have a certain safe word you like to use, or do you use the traffic light system?” She would ease into this conversation, and safe words were a good introduction. 

“Green is good, yellow to slow or check in, red or fire to stop.” Regina spoke automatically and with confidence. ‘Good,’ Mal thought. She was glad the brunette was comfortable with her safe words. 

“Good girl,” she praised, knowing the effect it had on her girl. “Now, Regina, earlier you said you might want to meet The Dragon, is that still the case? If not, there is no judgment. I just want an honest answer about where you’re at right now.” Mal waited as she watched Regina try so hard to hide her desire. She felt the brunette take a few deep breaths before saying anything. 

“Yes, I do. I want to know what that means first, though.” Mal smiled in pride at her girl asking for what she needed. She knew how hard that was for Regina. 

“I am so proud of you for asking for that, dear. Find a comfortable position, then we will talk.” She watched as Regina mulled over her options and carefully leaned into Mal’s side. Mal smiled and wrapped her arm around Regina’s body, holding her. 

“When we walk into that room, I expect you to follow my instruction. If you do not wish to do something, need to discuss my direction first, or need a second to breathe before completing it, I want you to say ‘yellow’, otherwise I will assume you are being disobedient, to which there are consequences. We will discuss those in a second. I will lead you into the positions that I want you to be in as I know you are new to this and may not be familiar with some of them. That being said, I expect you to remain in a position until I say otherwise. You will be unclothed, save for your panties unless I tell you otherwise. For now, I will let you undress yourself if you wish, though that might not always be the case. Unless it is a reply to a question I ask or your safe word, do not speak. Your role in that room is only to please me by listening and doing as I direct you to. Not having you speak is a way to help you relax into that role. You do not need to think about anything outside of what I have instructed. The outside world, outside worries, don’t exist in that room. It is just you and I.” Mal watched as numerous emotions painted across Regina’s face at the rules she had laid out, and she knew they could be a lot to take in at first. She also knew that Regina needed clear expectations and consequences in order to feel secure, and this was the first set that she was introducing to their dynamic. 

“You said there are consequences for being disobedient. What did you mean?” Regina said carefully.   
  
“That is something we need to decide on together. They will likely change as your comfortability with me does. I know you were wanting to be put over my knee, though you were also scared at that possibility. For right now, how do you feel about being in that position?” Mal started to draw lazy patterns on Regina’s shoulder as she continued to hold her, knowing that she would feel anxious about sharing her truth regarding being spanked. 

“Still the same. Interested but scared.” Her voice shook a bit, but Mal didn’t miss the longing it also held. 

“If we wind up in a position in which you need to be disciplined, I will put you over my knee. If you find that being in that position, or any at all during our time together, makes you uncomfortable, scared, or is triggering, I need you to safe word. If you need a second to breathe, think, or discuss, use ‘yellow’. Does that sound okay to you?” 

“Yeah, I can do that.” Regina gave Mal a light smile. Though she was anxious, she trusted Mal to take care of her and stop when she asked. It helped a lot to know that Mal has a reputation for being an incredibly skilled Domme, and Regina would be remiss if she didn’t acknowledge, at least to herself, the wish to know what if felt like to be under her whip. 

“Whenever you’re ready, dear.” Regina took a breath, then another for good measure, before standing. She looked towards Mal who smiled and led her hand-in-hand to the ornately designed, oak door behind her desk.

“When we enter, I will give you a few minutes to look around and start to get comfortable in the space before we begin. You may go wherever you like and touch the implements you wish, but do not remove anything from the hooks or drawers without permission. Alright, dear?” 

“Yes, Miss.” Mal smiled as she led Regina through the door. 

The playroom was adorned with dusky purple walls and furnished with the same dark oak that Mal’s desk was made of. There was a four-poster bed dressed in deep purple silk sheets in the center. Off to the side was a St. Andrew’s cross padded in black leather with a wall of impact play implements next to it. Opposite it was the spanking bench and a full-length mirror placed so both Domme and sub could see the scene. On the other side of the bed was a human-sized iron bird cage suspended from the ceiling which made Regina’s eyebrows quirk up. She filed it away as something to ask about later. Along the far wall, separate from the rest of the room, in the corner, was a massive dresser that she assumed held rope, sex toys, blindfolds, and other equipment that Regina didn’t see displayed. In front of it, was a padded section of floor with a suspension ring hanging from the ceiling. Displayed on the wall were leg spreaders, bamboo sticks of varying length and width, and smaller O rings that could be used during Shibari scenes. 

Mal watched carefully as Regina took in the massive room. She knew it was a lot, but also knew that most of it was not foreign to the brunette, and she wondered what she would gravitate towards. She watched as Regina explored the impact play toys, looking in the dresser drawers, and slowly walked around the room, mapping it’s layout. When she saw Regina’s body lose some of it’s tension, Mal began the scene. 

“I want you to pick out five things that interest you. We might not try them all tonight, but it will give me an idea of what you have a natural affinity for. You may grab implements off the wall to complete this task or lead me, by the hand, to a piece of equipment you wish to try. You have five minutes.” 

Without a second thought, Regina went to the wall of impact play toys, leading Mal over to the cross. She had expected as much knowing Regina finds it calming. Before Regina can finish her five items by picking floggers, crops, and whips from the wall, she amends her statement. 

“I know you enjoy impact play, dear. I am considering this one of your five. You may take down three implements you wish to try, but they all constitute one of your five items.” Regina looked slightly defeated at that amendment, but nodded, taking down a black leather flogger with quite a bit of weight to it, a leather-wrapped cane, and a black leather single-tale whip with a red rose on the handle. She handed them to Mal whose hand was outstretched. She then led Mal over to the Shibari set up. Again, knowing Regina’s love of rope, this was not a surprise. Mal smirked knowing Regina was buying herself time, starting with the safe options before moving onto the ones she was more apprehensive about. Regina walked towards the dresser and pulled out alligator nipple clamps making Mal quirk an eyebrow. It seems her little one does enjoy pain. She pulled out a black candle from the other drawer that was specifically made for wax play, and nodded as Regina handed them both to Mal, still silent. 

Regina paused and looked up to Mal. She knew she had one more item left to go, but didn’t know how to ask for it without words… or with words for that matter. Mal cupped her cheek stroking it with her thumb in a calming manner, knowing that whatever her last choice was was causing her distress. She watched Regina take a deep breath, tears welling up in her eyes as she walked towards the bed, Mal in hand, and sat down. That was the last place Mal had expected to be led tonight. 

“What does this mean to you, dear?” She knew Regina needed to explain… to voice her desire, and knew that because of her history, and the implication of the bed, that she would need to be very specific about her need with Mal. 

Regina took in a shaky breath and tried to divert her eyes from Mal’s penetrative gaze, but Mal caught her chin and forced their eyes to meet. 

“What is it you want, beastie?” Regina blushed, letting a tear slip from her waterline. That nickname made her feel warm, and she didn’t know what to do with that. “You like when I call you that, don’t you? More than the others, I mean.” Regina nodded and took a breath. 

“I don’t like being on my back on a bed… It’s triggering for me.” She started, hoping that Mal would bare with her as she tried to voice what she wanted. “But maybe we could try lying on my stomach with you here or… holding me.” With the last words spoken, Regina tried to get up abruptly and run, her mind awash with all of her anxieties swarming at once. Mal caught her around the waist and pulled her into a bear hug, her front flush to Regina’s back. She leaned in, head resting on the brunette shoulder as she spoke. 

“I am so proud of you for asking me for that, beastie.” Mal’s tone was sincere and soft, but the command in her next statement could not be missed. “I am not running, and neither are you. Sit.” Regina shook her head no, trying to shake away the intrusive thoughts, and telling Mal that she could not, in fact, sit with them. They were too loud. Sensing Regina’s distress, and knowing she needed the predictability of their dynamic right now, she said sternly but softly, “Regina, I do not hear a safe word, and my directions are not optional. This is your first time disobeying an order I gave, so I will let you rethink that choice once before I take you over my knee and spank you.” Mal watched as Regina squeezed her eyes tighter, willing her thoughts to go away long enough for her to obey, but they wouldn’t and she couldn’t. She needed Mal to take control, they both knew it, so she stayed standing, body still tensed as if to run. 

Mal, head still on Regina’s shoulder, asked softly, “I told you I would let you undress yourself if you wished tonight. Am I taking your dress off, or are you?” Regina still held tight to Mal’s arms around her waist, making no movement to divest herself of the leather fabric. Mal waited for almost a minute before saying, “okay, me then.” She stepped back enough to find the zipper, and holding onto the brunette’s middle with one hand, used the other to take the zipper of her dress down. Mal grabbed the fabric, leading Regina’s arms through it, but always maintaining a hand on the brunette in comfort. Once the dress was off, Mal stood in front of Regina and took her chin in her hands. 

“Eyes, beastie.” Her command was soft, but resolute. Regina obeyed slowly, meeting Mal’s. “I am going to take you over to the bed and lay you over my lap. I will not take down your panties until we discuss otherwise. You may hold onto my ankle for support, but you may not reach back or kick out at me. You may cry and make as much noise as you wish, but I do not tolerate disrespectful language. Do you understand?” Regina managed to reply, though the break in her voice was unmistakable. 

“Yes, Miss.” Mal led them over the bed, first sitting herself down, then pulling Regina over her lap. Regina’s torso was supported by the bed, legs hanging over Mal’s. Mal propped her knee up, exposing Regina’s perfectly sculpted, lace and satin-clad ass. She wrapped one hand around Regina’s waist, securing her in place, and Regina grabbed the blonde’s ankles as Mal had told her she could do. Mal felt the brunette’s chest heave, heavy with tears at being in such a vulnerable position mixed with her panic from sharing her desire, and knew that it wouldn’t take much to get Regina to the release she needed. 

She set her hand on Regina’s ass, slowly moving it in circles to acclimate her to Mal’s touch on this new portion of her body. She lifted her hand and started with a crisp swat to Regina’s sit spot and repeated the same to the other side, creating a steady rhythm. She varied her hand shape and intensity, moving to Regina’s upper thighs and sides of her ass periodically, but maintaining heavy concentration on her sit spot. After the first twenty swats, Regina started to relax into Mal’s lap, and though streams of tears flowed from her eyes, the panic-ridden, heavy sobs were replaced with those that were caused solely by the stinging sensation of her now cherry-red ass. Mal continued her ministrations until she felt Regina’s body go slack against her lap in between swats, knowing that she had cleared Regina’s head for the time being. She set her hand on Regina’s lower back and started rubbing soothing circles as the brunette allowed herself to cry. 

“Let it out, beastie. Let your tears be.” Regina squeezed Mal’s ankle and let her tears fall. 

When Regina’s tears had abated, Mal helped her sit up and turned so they were facing each other. She took both of Regina’s hands and squeezed. 

“Check in with me. Where are we at?” Mal was genuine, and Regina knew it. That fact made her feel more secure in her current position. 

“Green,” she replied gently. Mal nodded in response and stood, taking Regina’s hand and walking her towards the cross in the corner of the room. 

“Bra, garter, and stockings off,” she instructed as she went to one of the drawers to get leather wrist cuffs with O rings attached to clip into the cross. When she returned, Regina had folded her lingerie and set the items on the floor next to the cross. “Kneel, beastie.” Regina looked towards Mal for an indication as to where. Mal pointed directly in front of her, and taking a breath, she moved to her position and knelt for the blonde. Mal squatted down and took a wrist delicately in one hand, strapping a cuff onto it before doing the same to the other. She lifted the brunette’s chin with her finger before asking again. “What color are we at?” 

“Green, Miss.” With that, Mal led her over to the cross, front flush to the leather padding, securing her wrists to the cross with a double-ended snap. Once she was satisfied Regina was secured, she ran her hands up and down the brunette, lightly scratching her, getting her skin warmed up for impact play. She walked over to the side table where she had set the implements down that Regina had given her earlier in the night and grabbed the flogger she had chosen. This was one of her heavier ones, and would feel more like a heavy thud than a stinging pain. She knew Regina had chosen it for that reason, wanting her skin to be thoroughly warmed up before moving onto the more focused tools. Mal gave a few test swings in the air, familiarizing herself with the feel of it again before she stepped forward and started moving her hand in a criss-cross pattern, alternating between Regina’s shoulders first, then moving down her back to her ass and thighs. She watched as Regina’s body relaxed into the feeling, noticeably calming her down. 

When her body was thoroughly lax, Mal took the single-tale Regina had chose, deciding to end with a caning if her body could take it. Again, Mal did a few test swings with the whip, maneuvering the leather in her hand as her wrist flicked side to side. She repeated the same criss-cross pattern, laying lashes on either shoulder, watching as faint whip lines started to raise on olive skin. Regina moaned, leaning into each lash, and Mal decided to test her pain tolerance a bit. She started raining lashes down, side to side, on Regina’s mid and lower back, allowing the tip of the whip to wrap around her waist and hit her stomach and the sides of her upper thighs. Regina’s body jerked when the whip caressed her stomach and let out a small yelp causing Mal to smirk. She continued with the whip until Regina’s skin was adorned with criss-cross whip lines shoulders to upper thighs. She threw the whip down and pressed her front to Regina’s back, whispering in her ear. 

“You’re doing so well, beastie. What color are we at?” She started stroking auburn curls and could feel the sweat that trickled down Regina’s forehead and neck from exertion. 

“Green, I still have some left in me,” Regina commented, though her voice and body language told Mal that she only had a few hard ones left before she was done. 

“We’ll finish with ten lashes from the cane you picked out.” Regina nodded and Mal pulled back without further ado. She grabbed the cane and swatted it with varying intensity against her thigh to test the ringing forced. She decided to keep the intensity relatively level instead of varying it or growing the intensity of her swings as they progressed, knowing Regina’s body was almost spent. She stepped up to the side of Regina and held her waist as she brought the cane down on Regina’s incredibly red sit spot. Regina gasped, but bit back the yelp. Mal moved up her ass and down her thighs, feeling the tension in Regina’s body increase as she braced for each subsequent lash. Mal finished with three firm swats to Regina’s sit spot, causing the brunette to yell out at the last. She immediately threw down the cane, unclipped Regina, and walked them to the bed, cooing into the brunette’s ear. 

She laid Regina down on top of her, much in the same fashion as they did on the couch earlier this morning, rubbing the sides of Regina’s arms, not wanting to touch her abused back just yet. She watched as Regina came back to her body and hugged Mal earnestly. 

“How are you feeling, my dear?” Mal’s tone lost the dominance it had held during the scene, and Regina knew that they had finished for the night. 

“Relaxed, though my ass is on fire for some reason.” Regina gave a deep throated chuckle, voice dripping with exhaustion. 

“Would you prefer aftercare here or at your house? Either works for me, but your body is spent, and needs to be taken care of.” Mal kissed her salt-coated temple as Regina mulled over her options. 

“Home please. I don’t want to accidentally fall asleep here. I would panic when I came to.” Any filter Regina might have had was gone after her scene with Mal, and in that moment, she couldn’t say she was mad about it. 

“Alright, dear. My guess is that you don’t want to try and wear that skin-tight leather against your back right now, so I have some sweats and a long-sleeve t-shirt for you to wear in the bottom drawer of the dresser. You just need to sit here while I grab it.” She winked at Regina’s blush. She grabbed the black sweats and purple tee before walking over to where Regina had taken to leaning against one of the posters of the bed. “I do have to say, beastie, that lingerie you had on under that dress of yours was absolutely ravishing.” Mal gave her a devious smirk, and the lust in her eyes did not elude Regina. 

“Liked what you saw, Dragon?” She commented playfully. 

“So very much, beastie. You’ll be wearing that outfit again for me soon.” Regina changed into the more comfortable clothes and Mal picked up her clothes and the various impact play tools, hanging them back where they belonged. She took Regina’s hand and walked her back out through the office and club to the car, letting her lean up against her side as they went, clothes and arnica rub in hand. 

They arrived back to Regina’s house just after two in the morning, both exhausted. Regina was leaning on every surface she could to stay upright as Mal opened the door and led her through the foyer.

“Why don’t you take a quick shower before I rub the arnica into your back, if you think you can manage to stay awake.” She asked the last part with an upward lilt in slight question. She wasn’t entirely sure if Regina could stay awake, but she didn’t want to follow her up the stairs to her bedroom and bathroom, knowing that they hadn’t addressed that boundary. Regina nodded, eyes half closed, as she made her way up the stairs. Mal sat on the couch, waiting for her to finish up her shower.

They had made a lot of progress tonight, and Mal was both incredibly proud of that fact and worried that Regina might drop tonight because of it. She didn’t want to leave Regina knowing that she was really at risk of sub drop, but she didn’t want to impose. She did tell Regina that she took aftercare seriously, and she did; staying with your submissive, especially knowing the emotional intensity this carried for Regina, was part of that, but she also didn’t want to brunette to panic if she woke up with Mal next to her.

Regina came back down the stairs ten minutes later in a deep red silk slip. Seeing Mal on the couch, she automatically went over and laid her head in Mal’s lap, shocking the blonde. 

“I know you’re tired, dear, but I need to rub this into your skin to help with the welting and bruising. It won’t take long, and I’ll be gentle.” Regina just nodded, but made absolutely no move to help the process along. “May I?” She asked Regina, slightly pulling at the hem of the slip. Again, Regina nodded, and Mal lifted it up. Regina was wearing matching satin panties underneath and Mal wondered if the woman was capable of wearing something unattractive. She slowly started massaging the arnica into Regina’s multi-colored skin, pulling the panties into the crevice of her butt as she needed to in order to reach the purple bruises starting to bloom on her ass. When she was finished, thighs to shoulders, she carefully worked the nighty back down and realized that Regina was very much asleep. Mal chuckled lightly and tried in vane to rouse her. 

“Dear, I know you’re tired, but your bed would be far more comfortable for you,” Mal spoke softly, trying to coax Regina into waking. The only response she received was the brunette hugging her tighter and burrowing her head farther into her lap. She laid down on the couch and pulled the brunette on top of her, covering them with the throw Regina wore as a shirt earlier in the day and allowed her exhaustion to take over. She would be here if Regina needed her.


End file.
